When Does It All Start For You? Fifteen Going On
Do you remember your teenage years? Those years seem to be the ones that make us
laugh from the idiotic things we did, shake our heads in disbelief from just how off we were in our perception of life, or even cry from the frustration we may have felt regularly. For the most part we felt invincible. We were smarter than ever before and we had everyone and everything all figured out. Parents didn't seem as smart as they did when we were much younger. They seemed to live in a small box and we saw life to be so much larger and clearer than they did. We knew what we were doing and had no problem making decisions; even if the decisions were to affect the rest of our lives. When you look back on that time of your life did you think and feel in a similar way?Some teenagers are planning out their careers; this is a decision that will affect the rest of their life. Some are involved with dating and learning how to interact within a relationship. They learn about love, sexuality, and heartbreak. This can truly affect them for the rest of their life either through memories or even pregnancy. I'm sure we all can remember some that were pregnant in junior high. Some teenagers just want to party, have fun and even escape. They may start to experiment with alcohol and drugs. Some are able to look back and laugh over these times and others are not as lucky. Whatever it may be, decisions are made that affect us years down the road.
I remember my fifteenth year. I started to become more and more frustrated with my mother. I felt as if she went out of her way to make it difficult on me. I had three brothers, one older than myself and two younger. As a young girl I would help out around the house if I was asked to. I don't really remember having chores until I was around fourteen years old. The chores started out being that my older brother and I would clean our entire home every Saturday. Being raised one of Jehovah's Witnesses, Saturday mornings were set aside for the field ministry. This is more popularly known as going door to door; witnesses refer to it as going out in service. My mother knew that I liked going out in service on Saturday mornings, if she allowed me to go then the cleaning work would have to wait until I got back home. My brother didn't want to go out in service so it became a battle of when this was all going to be getting done. More likely than not I would stay back so we could just do the cleaning work and be done with it. What became even more frustrating then that was, if my brother had plans with his friends he wasn't made to be there when this chore needed to be done. I would be stuck cleaning the entire house by myself. As you can imagine, this frustrated the hell out of me. If I acted out on that frustration I would either be grounded or I would be threatened that I was going to be grounded if I didn't change my attitude.
I cried a lot about my situation. I prayed all the time about why things were the way they were. Why was my brother allowed to venture off and I wasn't. I started to resent my mother more and more. When I was cleaning the house she would go behind me and bend down to see if I had gotten all the dust off of her dressers. She would inspect all the bathrooms top to bottom and make sure they were spotless. This huge weekly chore was not fun. Instead of my mother and me working as a team, she rarely helped me out, and rarely praised me for the work that was done. It would seem more normal for the family to all share in this task and learn the responsibility of taking pride in a home instead of it falling on one child. It became so obvious to others what was going on that I was nicknamed Cinderella.
My father was a firefighter, if he wasn't at the station on the weekends then he and my mother would go out with their friends. What this meant for me was that I was designated to watch my two younger brothers. When I was thirteen years old they would make sure that my older brother was there with me but once I turned fourteen he was no longer made to be there. I dreaded watching my one brother, he was always challenging me. If he was doing something he shouldn't be and I corrected him or told him to stop he would refuse. The argument would escalate and he would become aggressive with me. I would tell my parents about his behavior and they would accuse me of exaggerating. The more time that passed he became more aggressive. I had no control over him. What bothered me more than anything was that my older brother wasn't made to be there to help and he wasn't treated the same as I was.
A positive twist to all of this was that other people began to recognize that I babysat my brothers and I was offered babysitting jobs. I was so excited! I started babysitting for some of our neighbors when I was thirteen years old and by the time I was fifteen I had quite a few families who wanted me at their house. I was able to take the training I had in cleaning our house and use that to stand apart from other girls that did babysitting. Even though I dreaded cleaning the house for my parents, the experience worked to my benefit. I would make sure that the families home was completely cleaned and put back together before the end of the night. I loved their face expressions when they would come home and see that everything was all cleaned. I don't ever remember my mother not allowing me to babysit for others; she never seemed to have much of a problem with me doing it. Because of the exposure that I had gotten with different families; by the time I was fifteen years old I was offered a summer nanny job from a Witness family. I jumped on the opportunity and loved it!
The family lived on a few acres; they had a barn full of roosters and chickens, geese, and a horse. Every morning the kids and I would go to the barn and feed the animals. I would clean the house for the family through out my day and I could also have a bible study with the kids. This became an ideal way for me to spend my summers. I made good money working for them and I also was able to continue babysitting for other families on the weekends.
With all the involvement that I had within the religion I knew that I wanted to be baptized as one of Jehovah's Witnesses. They didn't believe in infant baptism, they used the example of Jesus being an adult before symbolizing his dedication to God through baptism. This is viewed as a serious commitment and a person needs to be old enough to understand this. Not everyone is in their thirties before being baptized, some are much younger. I happened to be fifteen years old. I truly believed that I wanted to be a Jehovah's Witness for the rest of my life. Was I qualified at that age to make such a decision?
For one to become baptized there are steps involved that need to be followed. The first step was speaking to an elder within the congregation and expressing my desire to be baptized. Once that was established I met with an elder on several occasions and discussed many different aspects of the bible and the religious beliefs. The elder would ask numerous questions and I would need to respond with an answer using my own words and quoting scriptures that would support my answer. This was no easy task; it was a huge undertaking for anyone regardless of age!
I passed with flying colors; I amazed the elders with how well I was able to respond from my heart and use the scriptures to support my responses. They said that I did exceptionally well for being fifteen years old. Jehovah's Witnesses have conventions a couple of times through out the year. These are large gatherings that are from anywhere between one to three days. These gatherings consist of members of different congregations speaking on an assortment of topics. Time is also set aside for baptisms. My best friend Michelle and I were baptized at the same convention. I was so excited for this accomplishment. After the convention both of our families went out to a restaurant in celebration. I truly wanted to believe that I had made my parents proud. I remember that night at the restaurant looking at my parents and having doubt that they were as proud of me as I had hoped for. Both of my parents were also baptized but they didn't seem happy within the religion.
At fifteen I had a lot of things figured out. I was smarter than ever before; I was baptized, I was a great example within the congregation, I was making money, and I had it all going on in my mind. I had no idea what was wrong with my parents but I was going to keep moving forward and pray that they would follow my example. I felt invincible and my decisions were dead on. I didn't want to think about what doubts my parents may have had, as soon as that thought entered my mind I would squash it because they were wrong. Becoming part of this religion was their idea after all, right? Regardless of my efforts to squash these thoughts the seed of doubt had been planted.
Go now to my website at www.likemindedpeople.me. This website and what it offers has been a blessing to me and my family. I write articles surrounding this website and also about my early years as one of Jehovah's Witnesses. These articles can be viewed at www.attractiveminds.blogspot.com. Please leave any feedback and comments. If you have any questions are further comments you can contact me by email at pleasetrustwomen@gmail.com. Cheers To You!
When Does It All Start For You? Fifteen Going On
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