On Children Behaviour - Does Discipline Warrant Punishment?
On Children Behaviour - Does Discipline Warrant Punishment
?Actually, most parents who are unfortunately using various forms of punishment to try and transform their children's behaviour from bad to good are in effect transforming their children's behaviour from bad to worse and even worse, they are inviting long term serious consequences.
As quoted from the Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary, discipline is training which produces obedience (= willingness to obey) or self-control, often in the form of rules, and punishments if these rules are broken. How about punishment? The dictionary further defines punishment as to use or treat badly, violently or without care.
So, here we are presented with the definitions in black and white.
Let's make sense of these definitions with respect to child behaviour; When we discipline children we are effectively training them to have willingness to obey a set of rules that should not be broken. We can also interpret that we are effectively training the children to be able to have self-control to comply with the rules. The consequences for breaking the rules are harshly spelt out.
Basically, the whole philosophy is centered around fear. We are actually dealing with a case of discipline being a form of training based on rewards and punishment system in the name of obedience and self-control.
In a nutshell, disciplining involves some form of objective focused training whereby success is rewarded and failure is punished.
Critique:
Get it right, there is absolutely nothing wrong in praising an achievement. A pat on the back to the deserving is much appreciated. The big issue is, how on earth do you train someone to be obedient if when they fail they get treated badly, without care and even violently? Is this not a form of manipulation?
Because they failed, is it not fair and sensible to establish the root cause of failure and then step up the training resources focused on tackling the source of failure if the objective is sincerely to instil self-control? It seems the rules of engagement have been changed and unfortunately, now the training is focused on violence, neglect, and hate.
If the trainees will ever come close to obedience following this new regimen, then I am afraid this will be lying and blind obedience to authority, and as for self-control? Forget it, seriously.
So does this mean disciplining methods are all the same? A big NO, but in relation to children behaviour, most parents often find themselves trapped in either violent disciplining methods or those that are ineffective and brings about a lot of long term difficulties for both the parents and children. Child Custody Holidays Commonly Shared In Nevada Build Storage and Functionality into your Child's Room Design Kidsline Bedding for a Gender Neutral Nursery Things that Entertain Kids Finding a Good Quality Tutor For Your Child Actoplus Met 15 mg for Obese Teens with Low Insulin Resistance How targeting kids and teenagers is an intelligent move by cell phone manufacturers? Complaceny is Endangering our Children An Eczema Guide For Parents Who Wants to Protect Their Child's Skin There's More to Kids' Gifts than Just PSPs Patience. Patience. Patience: Caring for a Child with Autism A Look at the Cadillac Sixteen Shrinky's Guide to Parenting: How to Help Your Troubled Grown-Up Child (Part 3)