Being Too Honest With Your Kids Can Be Detrimental
Every parent should learn to accept that the day will come when their kids will watch
the same TV program and will listen to the same section of the paper. After that, your child will start to hear something about premarital sex, drugs, breaking the law, abortion, and so on. When this happens, it will only just be a matter of time for your kids to start asking questions.Are you ready to answer when your child asks you about having sex or about using condoms? How should you answer when your 16 year old son asks you about your first time? What if your daughter asks you about smoking or drinking, how should you respond? Should you tell your kids everything?
One way of getting away with awkward conversations like this is to leave the room and just drop the subject altogether. However, the most effective way of handling this is to prepare your answers for these kinds of questions. That means that you should think of the answers even before you are asked; you need to think into the future and evaluate the effects of the "truth".
For some time, psychologists suggested that the best way for parents to handle questions like these was to tell the truth about their past. Like for example if you have had experience using drugs, you have to let your kids know. Under this principle, being honest with your kids was more important than any other option.
However, there is one problem with this strategy - it does not take into account the maturity of your kids to fully understand sensitive issues like drugs, sex, or stealing. This strategy does not consider the kid's readiness to hear this kind of overwhelming information. There may be some kids that are still not prepared to hear the fact that once upon a time, their dad smoked pot or that their mom had sex with another man.
If you are being honest with your kids just to get it off your chest, then you are actually making yourself better by compromising the psychological stability of your kids. While being extremely honest like this does not directly threaten your image to your kids, it will serve as an encouragement or inspiration for them to do the same things.
Children see their parents as role models, which mean that certain information about their parents' previous adventures can be very difficult for them to handle. It will only add confusion to the already complicated topic.
While honesty is one important value, you should also consider the proper time and proper age in telling your kids sensitive matters. In revealing certain kinds of information, always consider their readiness to hear and comprehend.
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