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"i Have No Patience With My Kids!" - 3 Key Advices For Parents
Saying "I have no patience with my kids" already means that you know you're
the one who has to change in order to have a more co-operative child, have more patience and feel more in control of some situations that are currently driving you crazy."I have no patience with my kids so I yell and/or spank"
I'm pretty sure this applies to the vast majority of the readers of this article. If it's not your case, that's a good thing!
The major problem with you having no patience with your kids is that you tend to react impulsively. I don't want to make you feel guilty about it but you have to understand that yelling or spanking have very bad consequences on children. It pushes them to yell or hit when they're angry or not feeling well instead of expressing with words what bothers them.
On the other hand, a good reaction from you has very good consequences on your child. Keep this in mind.
3 Key Advices
For all the parents who say "I have no patience with my kids", here are 3 advices to help you dealing with your impatience and reacting in a different way with your child.
1. Try to stay calm and speak in a quiet but firm voice no matter how your child is behaving. I know it's hard but it's very important. I couldn't emphasize this enough. If you're not used to react that way and if you rarely have good results in your child with your usual reaction, try to react differently. Try to stay calm. Your kids will be surprised and will understand how serious you are. They may even imitate you.
2. Always keep in mind the responsibility you have. Every word you say in front of your child, every reaction you have have consequences, they mean "that's the way to react" to your child. You're a role model for your child. You're teaching things even without knowing it. Children have difficulties controlling their own emotions. Adults are supposed to know how to handle theirs. Be an example as much as you can and you'll stop saying "I have no patience with my kids".
3. Prevent a bad behavior from happening. You can definitely make your child have a better behavior which will greatly help you have more patience. It's better to prevent a tantrum or any bad behavior rather than having to deal with it when your child is out of control. I used to have no patience with my kids and I noticed that the best thing I could do was to talk to my kids about their behavior when they were playing quietly. For now on, when you're about to go out to the mall for example, talk to your kids before leaving the house and tell them exactly how you want them to behave at the mall and what will happen if they don't respect your decision. If you don't plan on buying them a toy, tell them so that they can prepare themselves to the idea. It's important.
I hope these 3 advices can help you stop saying "I have no patience with my kids". Kids are growing fast and we only have a few years to teach them how to become adults who can control their own emotions and express them with words and be respectful and honest. Don't waste that time. Every tantrum, every bad behavior in your kids is an opportunity to teach them something.
But what if my situation is more difficult and my child's behavior intolerable?
When a bad behavior has already become a habit in your child or teen and that you have no control or authority over him anymore, some effective guidelines have to be applied by you as soon as possible. The thing is, time is always against you and in such situation, you need more than just a few tips. The good news is that some parents and therapists created very effective parenting programs that you can easily apply.
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