Parenting Tips & Child Care - Be Careful
Please never ask your child to become like some other individual
. Your child is unique, in fact every one is. Even two twins are not alike, who share same kind of genes, environment, nurturance etc. So respect each others individuality. Do not force your opinion on your children or anyone else through emotionally laden speeches or through examples of your experiences in your lives. Of course, you need to share your own opinions, experiences and many times- two people will be disagreeing with each other, howsoever close they are in relationships and not because they are rivals but because they are two different individuals and observes the same situation little differently. They are able to express to each other because they feel secured and bonded to express there -sometimes completely different views. That views are to be accepted and respected until these are not destroying anyones peace like a kind of anti-social activity or some criminal acts.Moreover, as a parent you feel to choose your own preferred wishes, develop your own hobbies, so that you do not end up being just an over-involved or over cautious trying to control the child at every step, giving him or her lots of directions and allow them to take their own decisions according to their own age.
Too much of discipline or too much of liberty (actually lack of discipline) may lead your child to be emotionally impoverished or a rebel or may lead to antisocial activities.
Too much of discipline harms your child as he keeps on fearing himself or herself, always in conflict, never able to take proper decisions as he or she is always unsure of their decisions-in usual conflict whether I am thinking the right way or wrong ways., always needing some kind of directions, guidance or guidelines, could never discover or invent anything if he or she does not comes out of this mess, usually avoiding people for fear of being judged negatively and needs lots of assurances to find out whether he or she is performing normally. Emotionally these people are highly dependent individuals, always insecured of their significant others, fear of rejection constantly haunt them , are extra sensitive to even healthy criticism, sometimes resulting in extra possessiveness or extra dominating personality to compensate these conflicts. They try to be extra-cautious or extra- perfect and forget to take life in easy manner , ultimate result of which is lack of enjoyment and contentment. If they are too much suppressed then probably may turn out to be rebellious or demonstrative campaigners to their parents, and that too much of control converts into the extreme loss of control that they stop listening or paying heed to those disciplines which has pained them so much.
Too much of liberty results in loss of sensitivity towards others, lack of discipline in their lives, too easy going that they turn out to be irresponsible individuals, sometimes too insensitive that they turn out to be anti-socials for their sake of fun or immediate enjoyment or reluctant individuals who may turn out to be highly unproductive individuals- just enjoying and seeking sensations in whatever way they could- more chances of trying new addictive drugs for thrills which later turns into addictions.
Both these kind of parenting may lead to unhealthy and imbalanced personalities.
Dr Smita Pandey Bhat
Clinical Psychologist
Gurgaon, Delhi - NCR, INDIA
Email: dr.smitapandey@gmail.com
Url : http://child-psychologist.blogspot.com
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