Why the Challenging Behaviour and Tantrums - Why Does Your Child Get Angry?
Why the Challenging Behaviour and Tantrums - Why Does Your Child Get Angry
All too often we react to an episode of bad behaviour by quickly trying to diffuse the situation by whichever means we feel appropriate. In many cases we do not take full account of the situation or rationalise our actions. We tend to act on impulse - especially if we are in a public place and feel that the child is 'making a scene'. This impulsive response is, however, not going to help us to understand the root of their problem nor the reason behind their actions. The event often passes without much analysis from the parent and the contributing problem is left unresolved.
To be able to analyse the fundamental causes of outbursts of misbehaviour it is necessary that we first observe and take note of our children before throwing ourselves at them and just telling them to stop. There are three main causes for challenging behaviour from our children. They are logical and reasonable factors which will be bound to cause upset for them, but without giving them some thought and learning to evaluate each case, we will have less chance of affording a permanent resolution.
Basic Human Needs
If we lack the basic human needs then we all feel stressed. It is a natural instinct and one which is present in your children just as much as it is in yourself. We all need food, water, warmth, shelter, exercise, interaction with others, respect etc etc etc.
A Lack of Understanding of the Situation
Small minds often have difficulty in making sense out of the adult world. There may be a situation which he is experiencing for the first time or perhaps one which he has forgotten the rules for. A lack of understanding can be very frightening for your child and can easily cause a show of seemingly bad behaviour.
An Accumulation of Stress and Confusion
Insecurity, anger, confusion and painful memories are all very strong emotions and ones which can accumulate in a child's mind and cause a multitude of problems. If your child is showing signs of challenging behaviour, it may be that it is as a result of an event, or events, which have taken place previously and he has not yet come to terms with.
If you can spend some time watching your child and trying to understand why they are behaving in such a manner, you will be able to act more intelligently and effectively. Ask yourself which of the three categories is at root of the problem. It will not be the same answer every time.... do not think that you will establish one rule for each episode of challenging behaviour. But once you have got used to spotting the signs and identifying the underlying causes, you will have gone a long way to helping your child to lessen these outbursts and be happier.
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Joanna is a mother of two adult daughters and is now working with children in Paris, France. She has worked as a freelance writer for many years and now contributes to the new website I Have Very Tired Parents! http://www.ihvtp.com Here you can find a growing number of articles regarding all aspects of child care and parenting as well as some great deals on a variety of childcare related products.