10 Ways To Engage Teenagers in Their Own Learning & Growth
10 Ways To Engage Teenagers in Their Own Learning & Growth
Simple Steps For Leading & Parenting Teenagers
Its widely accepted that people can develop character and life skills during adulthood, however I believe its much easier to do so during our youth.
The structure of the mind and body during adolescence provide the ideal conditions for forming the attitudes and abilities required to become responsible and happy members of society. As such, the teenage years provide a wonderful window of opportunity for personal growth and becoming engaged in our own personal development.
Ive written this article for parents, teachers and coaches because these are the people that have a vitally important role to play in this process of helping teenagers form the competences and character traits that will stand them in good stead for many years to come.
Here are a few ideas for parenting teenagers and leading young people to become engaged in their own education and development:
1) Be a role model when leading and parenting teenagers
Its important that parents, teachers and coaches are a positive example to their children. Its one thing to tell your children to learn, grow, and improve but its far more important for you lead the way by doing what you want your children to do.
Therefore, if you want your child to become engaged in their own development, its essential they witness you reading motivational books, know youre attending life coaching seminars, and advancing your own personal growth. You have to become that which you want your teen to be. When you are a role model, your teen will be more likely to follow in your footsteps.
2) Have an open mind when leading and parenting teenagers
Its a common but inaccurate opinion amongst adults that, Young people just arent into learning and education because theyre more interested in television, movies, computer games, music, sport, fashion, and the Internet. This limiting belief may be founded upon negative experiences or could lack any evidence whatsoever, but whats certain is that this mindset creates a negative self-fulfilling prophecy.
Our experience at Unstoppable Teen is that young people are thirsty for solutions and hungry for help. Irrespective of previous experiences, the adults in teenagers lives must maintain an open mind, and hold the belief that, It is possible to engage young people in their own personal development.
3) Constantly invest in your relationships with teenagers
The old mentality of, Im the adult and youre going to do as I tell you, is very much out-of-date when it comes to leading and parenting teenagers today. Whilst this dictatorial approach might generate some short-term responses from young people, it often creates resentment and disengagement over the longer-term.
It is true that you are the adult, and therefore the onus is on you make it easy for your teenager to talk with you about their concerns. It would be wise to avoid autocratic confrontations, and instead focus on developing a relationship that is based on trust and equality.
I cannot over emphasize the importance of taking time each day to invest in the emotional bank account of your relationship with your teen, and never assume that you have their trust and respect.
4) Identify cool celebrity role models
One obstacle we must overcome when engaging young people in their personal growth is finding appropriate people for your teen to learn from. Unfortunately, many self-help authors and life-coaching gurus are seen by teens as being out-of-touch and irrelevant, so its important when teaching and parenting teenagers for you to identify personalities and resources they can relate with. This could include:
Athletes
Actors
Singers
Business people
Politicians
Explorers
Philanthropists
Friends and family
Teachers and coaches
Consultants and experts
You might want to identify a selection of role models with differing strengths, and avoid putting anyone on a pedestal because everyone makes mistakes.
5) Make Self Help part of your culture
If you want your teen to actively pursue an interest in their personal growth, you have to make it part of the daily culture of your family, school, or club. In other words, personal development has to become one of your highest values and part of the ethos of your community.
You can do this by placing inspirational pictures on the walls of your home, watching emotional movies together, writing thought provoking quotes in your teens birthday cards, and giving educational gifts alongside other materialistic presents.
Perhaps most importantly of all, when teaching and parenting teenagers, you would do well to discuss aspects of personal development in your daily conversations and spend time reflecting on the deeper things in life.
6) Get teen-friendly resources
Most self-help books and seminars are written and presented by adults, for adults. They are delivered in adult language, with adult examples, for the adult world. Oftentimes this makes them boring and tedious for many young people.
Obviously, if your childs first personal development experiences are dull or difficult to understand, its unlikely they will sustain any level of long-term interest or engagement in this area. Therefore, if you are intending to introduce your teen to the concepts and strategies of personal development, its imperative that you invest time in identifying appropriate products and experiences that have been deliberately designed for teenagers.
For example, rather than encouraging your child to read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, you might encourage them to read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey. Instead of Chicken Soup For The Soul, give them Chicken Soup For The Teenage Soul. Whatever resources you use, ensure they are relevant to your teenagers life.
7) Create enjoyable experiences when leading and parenting teenagers
Experiential learning is important and particularly valued by young people. Since many teenagers prefer to be actively involved in doing things rather than learning abstract theories, it makes sense for you to complete challenging experiences together rather than just reading about things in books.
When leading and parenting teenagers, consider doing activities such as rock climbing, abseiling, paint ball, sailing, kayaking, go-cart racing, archery, orienteering, camping, rope courses, martial arts, and even fire walking. Let these experiences be the instructor, and your child will learn much about their self whilst developing capabilities for achieving success in life.
8 ) Do it together
Resist the temptation to push your child into reading books, listening to coaching programs, and sending them on self-help courses alone Go on the personal development journey with them and show your willingness to improve your own abilities. This is what leading and parenting teenagers is all about.
Sharing life lessons and learning together with your child provides you both with an opportunity to not only develop new life skills, but also form a deep bond that can last a lifetime. Theres nothing more binding than overcoming challenges together and sharing inner breakthroughs that enable you to become more than you were before.
9) Be patient dont nag!
Patience is a vital ingredient in all learning, and I would encourage you to be patient when teaching and parenting teenagers, especially when youre helping your child make progress with their personal development.
Theres nothing more annoying to a teenager than a nagging parent or teacher (even though the adult has positive intentions). Of course, it is sometimes necessary to be persistent in the requests you make of your child, but nagging them to use a life coaching resource is likely to result in two things; resentment and rebellion.
By all means, make positive suggestions to your child and lead the way through your personal example, but if they choose not to accept your invitations immediately, take a step back and give them time to consider their options.
If you are going to repeat a request for your teen to use a particular personal development resource, consider how you might do it differently to previous requests, because it would be insanity to do the same thing whilst expecting a different outcome.
10) Love them
In my opinion, the greatest source of personal growth comes through the giving and receiving of love. For teenagers, the love they receive from their parents, teachers, and coaches is the most influential force in their lives.
Its not sufficient for you to just feel your love for your child They need to know that you love them and that youre there to support them no matter what. So express your emotions when youre coaching and parenting teenagers.
I want to encourage you to stop being judgmental of your childs habits and begin to genuinely look at the world through their eyes. Then consider your childs personal preferences and express your love through their preferred means.
Rather than noticing teenagers mistakes and criticizing their errors, make sure you catch them doing the right things, and praise them for doing the right things. Tell them, hug them, write personal letters, spend time with them and do whatever it takes to communicate your unconditional love every day. The greatest gift your child can receive is your praise and love.
I hope you find this helpful.
Be unstoppable!
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