who should be your childs primary sexualty educator?
who should be your childs primary sexualty educator
?WHO SHOULD BE YOUR CHILDS PRIMARY SEXUALITY EDUCATOR?
Sexuality is a more complex entity and includes every aspect of our life. Life is in a state of constant change, moment to moment and we as a parent is our utmost duty to guide our young ones through these changes. Due to the mechanical world we are in, we fail to donate a few seconds to our little ones, in times when they need us the most, we sometimes do not relish the simple precious moments the child would like to share with us, if it would have been shared, that moment would have changed our vast expanse of life.
- 1 -Mona a 7-year- old is presently undergoing treatment and psychological counseling as she had a very traumatic experience with a pedophiliac. She has severe nightmarish memories of her encounter with the pedophiliac. Due to the changing trend, the child is more exposed to sex everywhere and the idiot box playing the main role. Even cartoon shows like, Popeye for example depicts how to fight for a woman. Let your child know that you are there to support, comfort, and confide.
Reema a college going girl was aborted forcibly by her boyfriend as she was 3 months pregnant, now she's been traumatised both mentally and physically. Now, we see almost all love stories in movies starting at a tender age, very few movies do we see a child struggling to study and come up, it is rather like he or she has loved one, they get separated, blah blah blah, these kind of movies have a large impact on the child, wherein the child instead of studying and thinking about future goals and aims, thinks of how to be attractive to the opposite sex, how to fall in love ,and last but not the least how to make their love a success. So it your duty to keep an eagle eye to your child's activities and nip the bud, not in a harsh manner, but diligently, explaining to the child, that it is in their best interest that you have done this, have a heart to heart talk with the child.
Does this ring some sense to all parents who are reading this article," YES YOUR CHILD NEEDS SEX-EDUCATION". Now don't put your fingers on your nose when you read that your child needs sex education as early as possible say 6-7 years. Yes, because of the media and fast growing generation, the young ones are now succumbing to unwanted fantasies regarding sex, instead of blaming the media and fast trend, blame onto yourself for not guiding your child regarding untoward effects regarding early sex, let your children know that you are always there, when he needs you the most to guide them regarding their queries.
Children are inquisitive and interested in finding out about sex, so instead of them seeking information from unwanted source and materials, it is the duty of you as a parent to guard and guide them away from seeking information from such sources and people. So you as a parent should be their first primary healthy sexuality educator. As a parent we would like to protect our child from hurt, anguish, danger, temptations and information from malicious sources and sex maniacs.
Parents should be the first teachers as recently even schools have started sex education programmes and it is our duty as a parent to be co-operative to such new initiatives taken by the school authorities.
Children are exposed to sex everywhere, do we find any decent songs unlike yesteryears, now the trend is bare and dare, which makes the child inquisitive to opposite sex. The advertisement media is not an exception, consider a several brand of soap or watches wherein attraction to opposite sex is clearly imparted to the child, who at such a tender age tries to woo a girl. Not to forget several brands of drugs, which says go get pregnant, we have the magic pill for unwanted pregnancy, the unmarried are more benefited with the magic pill rather than the married who are nowadays striving to become pregnant, imagine them using the magic pill for unwanted pregnancy of course with some with exceptions. The complications faced after using such magic pills are unexplained, what if the magic pill didn't work? The mental and physical anguish faced by the females is unexplainable.
HOW AND WHEN TO START AN SEX EDUCATION
As a parent, we all know it is not an easy task to start discussing about sex to your kids, but you have to in the best interest of your dear one. Parent's duty is not only in providing the basic needs, but also in protecting their precious ones from pedophiliacs, rogues and unwanted sites in the net. So put in information about sex in a family context, you can make it personal, warm and loving. Children often spout remarkable, flat statements and embarrassing questions regarding sex, like how baby is born, or from where do kids come from or the mental and physical changes they face during adolescence etc, instead of commenting "what rubbish", explain to them in a understandable way by keeping their age in mind, just by warding of their questions you are pushing your child into danger of seeking information from variety of unwanted sources.
In the need to protect your child, you may impose too many do's and don'ts to your child, which will ultimately end in revolt from his side. So instead of asking you his queries, he tries to search where he can get answers to his questions. Time to time it is the parents duty to talk to their kids about the problems they are facing, are they bullied by anyone, or if they are attracted to opposite sex, or they have any queries regarding the changes they are facing both mentally and physically. Let your child know that you are his friend and will be there to him during any crucial phase, your relationship with the child should be in such a way that he should feel that "yes I can tell my mom
WHAT SHOULD BE TOLD TO YOUR CHILD REGARDING SEX?
Parents should initiate the conversation as early as possible.
Eg: 1 Explain to a 6-7 year old the difference between a good and bad touch. Kids sometimes easily fall prey to bribing ,help them and guide them not to succumb to such bribing. Teach them how to identify danger and let them know that you are there for them.
2 Teach them the skills to protect themselves from pedophiliacs, how to recognise danger, and when and whom to approach for help if in case they encounter any problems of bad touch or bullying from opposite sex regarding sex.
3 Please do explain to your boys and girls the changes they encounter during puberty, both the physical and mental changes, so that they would be prepared when they reach the puberty and be ready to accept the changes in them,rather them panicking about the changes.
4 If it is your girl child, please guide her through ,how to protect themselves from boys and disadvantages of falling in love at a wrong age, explain to her that it is in her best interest that you are guiding her through this phase, let it be in an friendly manner rather that ordering or bullying her for talking with a guy or coming late night home from parties
5 Explain to your daughter that at adolescence, she has to undergo a vulnerable phase, wherein at this stage she has to avoid herself from sexual overtures and advances, though due to hormones and as it is new she may like it if it is a boy friend, but explain to her the horrible and miserable consequences she has to face later, if she obliges to such overtures.
Explain to your kids in an appropriate manner, not at a stretch, but slowly in a manner they can understand and protect your precious ones from the harsh world. So be a friend to your dear ones rather than a tormentor, when in comes to their personal queries and problems.So now ,who do you think should be your childs sexualty educator?
Dr.Neha
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