Talking With Your Children-Agree To Disagree
Talking With Your Children-Agree To Disagree
When talking with your children, agreeing to disagree is often an essential issue that gets missed. Not every conversation, argument or discussion needs to have a victor. The purpose of communication is to exchange ideas and understand perspectives. If the purpose is control or a power struggle, then you both lose. Outside of debate club, communication should not be a competitive sport.
Sure, there are many things you need to teach your children, and set the record straight when they have their facts wrong. But, how often do they try to voice their opinion or perspective and are shot down?
I want to give you a few examples and you pick the response that comes to mind:
A) "My teacher is mean."
1) "No, she's not; remember she..."
2) "You shouldn't say that..."
3) "What makes her mean?"
B) "My life sucks."
1) "What a terrible thing to say."
2) "You don't know how good you have it."
3) "What makes it so terrible?"
C) "I think that there should be no school."
1) "If there was no school, you couldn't get a good job."
2) "Oh, you just want to sit around and play video games."
3) "Why do you think we have school? What do you think kids should do instead?"
And what about when they have an opinion that is contrary to yours?
--I think we shouldn't have to do homework.
--I think it's wrong to have a bedtime.
--I think the President is doing a good/bad job.
--I think we should legalize marijuana.
--I think everyone should have a dog.
The issue is irrelevant. When talking with your children, allowing them to have their own opinion is the real issue here. If you let them, these kinds of comments can be great conversation starters. They can allow you into the world from your child's perspective. Or, they can be opportunities to stop them in their tracks and stifle them.
It's really up to you.
Listening to the way your children see the world can be very enlightening. Sharing your viewpoint can also be eye-opening for them, as long as you don't state it as a contradiction, or a way to prove them wrong.
Go deep--
Ask them to elaborate, tell you why they feel that way, how they came up with that idea and so on. Let them know if their idea or viewpoint is something that you hadn't considered before. Sharing ideas teaches children that it's OK to have their own point of view, even if it is contrary to yours. It also encourages children to think and speak for themselves, without necessarily following the opinions of others. Now, this doesn't mean that you have to allow them to pursue all of their opinions. But you can listen, and allow them to have them.
Agree to disagree. It can go a long way in opening the lines of communication with your children. And if you listen when talking with your children, you may just discover some interesting things about them that you didn't know before. How To Listen So Kids Will Talk What Happens When Mom Unplugs Teens For 6 Months? Talking With Your Children Not At Them Watch Teen Mom 2 Season 1 Episode 9 At Full Length Video Best Hair Removal Procedures For Men And Male Teenagers Four Principles For Getting Exercise When You Have Young Children To Take Care Of Anxiety Free Children Comes Through For Both Children and Parents Help for Children on the Autism Spectrum Recognizing Emotions Low Vitamin D Levels in children Raise Insulin Concerns Childhood Obesity Impacted by Marketing How To Get Your Kids Involved Paleo Kids Recipes | Caveman Kids Recipes Child Custody Rights More Important Facts