i just want to slap my child he's not listening to me
i just want to slap my child he's not listening to me
Feeling like you need to lash out after speking or trying to talk to a child? ever looked at the way your using your voice, the tones, strengths and body language.
We use communication to give and receive information, idea's and feelings, communication is a two way process consisting of verbal and non-verbal interaction. It is important that we are heard and understood it is also important that we listen and try to understand others. Understanding communication will help build relationships with those around us. We use both verbal and non-verbal communication together the majority of the time. First of all I am going to start with non-verbal communication this consists of;
Nodding the head, this could mean thank you, an agreement, understanding, and yes Shaking your head, this could be in disappointment or disgust or saying no Tilting the head, could mean boredom, listening/concentration Slow shaking of the head, could be, disbelief, horror, annoyed Holding the head, could mean angry, shy.
Hand gestures such as thumbs up mean ok/correct thumbs down means wrong/ not ok scratching the head can mean thinking hand shakes can mean an agreement or friendship.
In Japan smiling means that you are unhappy, in parts of Asia it means anger and frustration. Patting a child on the head in Nepalese is extremely insulting to the child, thumbs up in Nigeria or Iran means screw you'.
Body language has a very important means of communication it has a lot of different uses, most of these uses are non- verbal communication. Everybody is affected by visual clues to somebody else's feelings or sadness, misery, grief, happiness, affection; confidence etc. eye contact is expected when talking to people.
Facial expressions send mixed messages depending on our feelings and these messages are sometimes misunderstood. It is noticed how a person is feeling by their happiness or saddened expression in their mouths e.g. smiling would be for joy, happy moments, nice thoughts, gratefulness etc, where as having a sad looking face/ mouth could be anxious, shocked, worried, upset scared, negative etc.
At 11 months old babies can only communicate non-verbally, a baby would do this by smiling, pulling faces, reaching out their arms, pointing, shaking their head, nodding, kissing and cuddling, clenching their fists, kicking their legs, waving their arms about, pulling their legs up, bouncing up and down.
Listening is very important in communication to do this would show a child or an adult that you are interested in what they have got to tell you and it will also show that you care. Active listening skills is effective if people respond appropriately they will gain trust and the person who is in the interaction will have better understanding of what the other person is trying to say. Active listening is using direct reflection for being direct in repeating words, paraphrasing which could summarize what the speaker has just said in a conversation and to use an interest and to empathize for that extra understanding.
From birth we are able to communicate verbally, babies will use crying, gurgling, squeaks and laughing to communicate this will make people aware of a babies feelings. Babies are able to hold conversation which could involve: watching the baby and waiting for eye contact from the baby, giving smiles or the baby trying to make a sound or pronounce a word, trying to repeat a word or sound with a smile and waiting for a baby's verbal reaction to a conversation held by others. Encouragement and an affectionate response should be given to a baby so that the baby will continue having conversations and will also attempt new words.
Through babyhood and toddler years a child will be helped by mother, father, siblings and other carer's by them guiding the child through life using a soft caring tone in their voice this language is known as parentese' or infant direct speech. A child enjoys this tone due to when the child was growing in the womb of it's the child would of familiarizes themselves with their mothers voice, soon after the baby is born the child is comforted on hearing the soft suttle tone voice of it's mother welcoming him into the world. Parentese is very important when communicating with babies and toddlers; it is used all over the world. Mostly parentese could be a gentle sing song, for a gentle tone to make it easier to hear and gives children the feeling of security.
Another verbal communication that uses many aspects of spoken language which will come effective in communication is paralanguage. In paralanguage the emotions, Feelings, mood and tone of the child are shown by the way in which the child's words are spoken. Paralanguage includes the tempo which could be fast or slow, the tone of the voice which could be flat, bright, and sympathetic, and hesitation for nervousness or doubt. Pauses for dramatic effect, high or low pitch and emphasis on words.
Research that has been done for paralanguage shows that people are very specific in evaluating which emotion are being expressed by a speaker. They make this observation by using paralanguage clues like: the volume, pitch, rate of speaking, pauses and tone of voice etc. when somebody is in distress such as feeling angry or anxious, when the person who is distressed over something talks, it is noticed that they stutter or repeat themselves, they tend to speak rapidly and make slips of the tongue, more times than when they usually would. The style of the voice that is used (its softness or harshness) the style will vary depending on the emotional state of the speaker.
Parentese is an important type of paralanguage this will be used by carers of the child including parents. It is spoken in many but not all cultures; adults speak differently to babies also young children from the way they speak to adults. Children use sing-song rhythm and emphasis some keywords that are used in repetition.
When we communicate with children and adults this differs but are sometimes similar. Communicating and interacting with children the use of a lower softer tone is necessary so that the child can feel secure when being spoken to, depending on the age of the child the appropriate language must be used so that the child is able to understand what is being said to them. When speaking to an adult a mature tone must be used as the conversation would be of a mature nature compared with a child's conversation.
Adults are able to understand lots more than children, can understand privacy, when a person needs space and can relate to situations that they themselves may have gone through or known about somebody who has. Adults are able to communicate to each other at an eye level that aren't the same level e.g. on a different angle. Adults are able to pay attention and are able to retrieve information and any additional information that they will need to understand e.g. instructions. They are able to give clear instructions, appropriate body language and active listening skills adults use a warm and friendly atmosphere.
When speaking to children their preferred name must be used, repeating what you have said will help the child understand more clearly, the use of a slower pace vocabulary. When speaking or listening to children we normally use over exaggerated facial expressions, adults also paraphrase to the children so they can understand more clearly what is going on. Parenting ADHD - Getting The Facts And Then Deciding What Is Right For Your Child Dance Lessons For Children: Help Your Child Gain Confidence! Die at Sundown - A Child's Tale Do You Know All The ADHD Answers? - Selecting The Right Answers To Give Your Child The Best Chance Is ADHD For Life? How To Make Sure That Your Child Will Be Able To Cope ADHD And No Medicine? - Looking At Alternatives To Give Your Child A Better Chance in Life ADHD Problem Child - How To Manage Anger And Keep Your Sanity! Weaning Off ADHD Medication - Some Factors To Consider So Your Child Can Get His Childhood Back! The Appropriate Way of Taking Care of Children Behavioral Problems Common Colds In Children Kc Power And Light Hotel Traveling With Children Conceiving A Boy Instead Of A Girl GPS Child Locator – What Is It?