Child Custody Laws - A Child's Right To Choose
There are no hard and fast child custody laws when it comes to a child's right to choose which parent to live with after a divorce
. Not only is family law different in each state, it also varies from judge to judge.Unfortunately, many custody cases are adversarial, pitting parents' divorce attorneys against each other while dismissing the desires of the children. If a minor is asked about their wishes, it may be in front of the participants or in chambers, but in either case, these are merely conversations and are not binding. If both parents are equally fit guardians, have no criminal records, are drug free and are mentally and financially stable, a child's preference may tip the scales in one direction or the other. However, the final decision is always left to the judge.
Some states set limits on the age at which a child can be heard, usually somewhere between 12 and 15 years old. In addition, children who are honor students, and have reputations for honesty, integrity and hard work, have a greater chance of being heard by a judge. However, the court is not bound to follow the child's wishes and may disregard them completely if they are deemed to not be in the youngster's best interests. Teenagers are especially difficult to deal with in these matters, as they are often unable to differentiate between "self interest" and "best interest," oftentimes expressing a preference for the parent with the more lax rules or the larger income.
The other side of this issue is that children may form stronger emotional bonds with one parent than the other. According to some psychologists, these ties should supersede any other consideration when assigning custody. Even this, however, is not a dependable guide; children often assume the role of caregiver to a newly single parent and thus minimize their own need for nurturing, losing an essential component of a happy childhood.
In the event that a child demands a change of custody, mediation may be offered by a qualified social worker who can then proffer a professional opinion to the judge. Even this procedure, however, is not binding and the final decision is still in the hands of the court. Until and unless family law becomes more precise in regards to involving children in their own custody cases, the system will remain flawed by unregulated - and sometimes capricious - judicial decisions.
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