Your Marriage - Why CPA Just Won't Cut It
Your Marriage - Why CPA Just Won't Cut It
Introduction
With CPA you will NOT be able to "cut it" in your marriage. You need a LOT more than CPA in order to make your marriage successful. Read here what to do to remove CPA from your marriage, or at least limit it to such an extent that it is not damaging your marriage.
So What Is CPA?
You may at this point be wondering what CPA is. This article will make it clear. And if it does not become clear during the article, it is probably because CPA is hindering your perceptiveness. So read on, and discover not only what CPA is, but also how to remove it from your marriage.
The Path From Noise To Wisdom
Dee Hock, the founder of the VISA Corporation, once said more or less the following about our learning processes:
Noise becomes data when it has a cognitive pattern
Data becomes information when assembled into a coherent whole, which can be related to other information
Information becomes knowledge when integrated with other information in a form useful for making decisions and determining actions
Knowledge becomes understanding when related to other knowledge in a manner useful in anticipating, judging and acting
Understanding becomes wisdom when informed by purpose, ethics, principles, memory and projection
"What on earth does that have to do with MY marriage?" you may ask.
The point to notice here is that there is a gradual increase in the value of what we perceive based upon HOW we perceive it and WHAT we do with it.
Too Many Tings Vying For Your Attention
In this day and age, at the end of the first decade of the twenty-first century, there are massive amounts of demands for our attention.
The Information Age is turning into an age of Information Overload. Just think about it a few decades ago you could choose whether you were going to switch on the television. Your telephone would not be able to vie for your attention once you were more than about fifty yards away from your house.
But today? Your telephone is constantly hanging at your side, making inroads into your life whenever it chooses to do so. And with the so-called "Smart Phones" these days, even your television is now hanging at your side.
This is not a cry to go "back to the good old days!" It is merely trying to sketch the scenario that we have way too many things vying for our attention nowadays. And the modern technology has brought those things vying for our attention right into our personal space, so we cannot ignore them.
The result?
With all these attention-demanding devices constantly clamouring for our attention, we start giving only partial attention to them.
Partial Attention To Your Marriage Is NOT Good
Now, while you can get away with paying partial attention to the television or to your cell phone, doing it to your wife or your marriage is NOT an option.
Your marriage is the most critical relationship of your life. And your wife is the most important person in your life.
When you spend time with your wife you should not do her the disrespect of only paying partial attention to her.
Paying FULL Attention To Your Wife Will Improve Your Marriage
If you look back at "The Path From Noise To Wisdom" towards the top of this article, and apply that to your marriage, you will see how paying attention to your wife will be beneficial to your marriage.
By really listening when your wife speaks, you will gradually get to know and understand her better. And that better understanding leads to better communication for the next time that you communicate. Notice that this is not a one-time action, but rather a lifetime approach to how you focus on your wife and on her ONLY while the two of you are communicating.
How To Avoid The CPA Trap
You should make time daily, where you and your wife can sit quietly and discuss the things that occurred during the day. Make sure that you do NOT have these discussions in front of the television. Turn the cell phones off. Unplug the landline phones from the wall. Switch off all thoughts that are lingering in your head. Get someone to watch the kids. And then make the time to really have a proper, in-depth discussion with your wife about the things that affect her.
If you cannot do this on a daily basis, make sure to do it at least once a week.
Summary
From this article you should have been able to discover that Continuous Partial Attention is something that we fall into too easily, but that there are ways of limiting its damaging effect on our relationships in general - and in particular on our marriages.
Sam Margulies once said, "Marriages don't break; they slowly erode and starve to death." And lack of proper communication is a big cause of this gradual starvation.
Communication with your wife real, proper communication is of paramount importance to your relationship and to your marriage. Therefore you should guard against falling into the CPA trap by making a conscious effort to cut down the external influences that vie for your attention so that you can just focus on your wife.
Never Stop Working On Your Marriage
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