Why Are My Children Misbehaving?
Why Are My Children Misbehaving?
Many parents ask the question: Why are my children misbehaving? It may be that your children are misbehaving in public or when you are with company, OR it may simply be that they are being unruly when at home. Under any of these circumstances the primary reason for a child's misbehaviour is their need for attention. In-fact the most common reason children misbehave is simply because they have unmet needs of some form. Any child misbehaving, throwing tantrums or acting up is just their way of communicating to you that they are unhappy. For a child, any attention is better than none!
This is not the only reason why children may be misbehaving; children can misbehave for many other reasons.
Children feel the need to belong.
Children can feel the need to belong to you, to the class at school, to a group of friends or to the family. Their misbehaviour may be an attempt to gain membership or to discern if they will still be accepted. Thus it is important to show your children that you still love them and that they are still part of the family even if they misbehave.
Children misbehave when they lack confidence or feel inadequate.
Children may misbehave when they are afraid to try new things (e.g. food) or fear failure at a new task. When this is the situation you must help children to understand that everyone makes mistakes, even adults.
Children misbehave when they feel unwell.
Daily exercise, a healthy diet, fresh air and 8-12 hours of sleep are essential for children. Without these essentials they may be hard to get along with. The majority of discipline problems occur around 8 a.m., noon, 6 p.m. and 8 p.m. when children are either hungry or tired. However, be careful not to punish your children when they are physically sick!
Children misbehave when they are upset.
Small changes in a child's daily routine can upset them. This can include anything from a change in daylight saving hours, changing season or a new schedule. More major changes can cause upset as well, such as moving house or a divorce. The new situation is unfamiliar to the child and they need reassurance and guidance.
Children misbehave when they are discouraged.
Adults can be too quick to tell a child when they are doing something wrong and too slow or completely forget to praise them when they are doing right. Children who feel they are bad have the tendency to act so and may hurt others in the process. Children who feel stupid will not perform as well as they can in school. Children need praise and approval when they do something good, even for small things such as saying "thank you". This will help prevent misbehaviour to gain attention from parents.
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