Weddings On A Holidays
My best friend was born on Christmas and so it was always easy to remember the date on which I had to send her a card and a birthday gift
. While I thought it would be wonderful to be born on a holiday, she hated it."My birthday gets lost in the tinsel," I remember her saying. "How can I compete with the magnitude of a national holiday?" she'd confess. Besides, she also had the sneaking suspicion that the amount of gifts she would receive would also be roughly half of what everyone else received.
Then there was the problem of people spending time with their families during the holidays and not very much interested in going to a birthday party to give presents when they could go home instead and open their own presents.
So, now you're thinking how wonderful it would be to get married or celebrate your commitment to each other on a holiday. My first word of advice is to go ahead and do it if you've really thought it through. If you haven't it, however, here's what you ought to consider: cost, time/effort and date conflicts.
Incidentally, as a wedding musician, I've played at a few holiday ceremonies and celebrations. It's one of those gigs where I automatically charge more than I usually do. Many musicians even charge a little more for playing on the weekends. Therefore, the very first thing to consider is cost.
Almost everything for a celebration or a wedding will cost you a little more during the holidays. Not every cost goes up, but most costs do increase especially those plane tickets for all your out-of-town relatives.
You can try bringing some of the expenses down by booking vendors far in advance. For example, I'm more likely to offer a reasonable rate a few months out than if you contact me a month before an event.
Conversely, if you have the guts to do it, try waiting until the very last minute when vendors have nothing booked and you are a "bird in their hand." You may end up with vendors at the bottom of the barrel, but you may get lucky. It's a risk that sometimes pays off.
If you've jumped over the "cost" hurdle, then it's on to the next: time and effort.
Obviously, planning your special day during another already special day could make planning very complicated as two special days are combined into one 'unless you've chosen Ground Hog Day.
Obviously, depending upon which holiday you select, trying to navigate a major holiday season can be challenging. But if you can devote the time and effort to making your wedding day less stressful, go for it. This would be a great time to start thinking about a coordinator, however.
Okay, we've crossed the bridges of cost and effort. Now it's on to what my friend was always worried about: guest or date conflicts. Will anyone come to my ceremony or celebration if I hold it on a holiday?
You know your friends and family better than I. Of course, if you want to find a way to creatively invite a lot of people knowing full well that they won't all attend, then you should pick a holiday. It's a great way to invite a lot of people, but hold down the number of people who actually come to your wedding.
Cost, effort and conflict. Those are the three simple issues and you've dealt with them all.
Okay, now it's time to pick a holiday and there are so many from which to select. And remember, you'll probably have to deal in some degree with each of those three issues depending upon the holiday you select.
Here are some suggestions for pairing a holiday with your special day.
New Year's Eve and/or New Year's Day - It's a time of renewal and commitment. It celebrates the past and gives hope to the future. I played music for a couple who had their dance party and reception before getting married. They were actually married at the stroke of midnight so they took their vows in one year and started living up to them in the next. You just have to hope your less energetic friends and relatives can stay up late.
St. Valentine's Day - It's such a perfect holiday for a wedding that it brings tears to my eyes. What better day than a day celebrating romance and love?
Leap Day (February 29) - Obviously, you'll be celebrating fewer anniversaries but think about how rare your anniversary date will be. Selecting this date says a lot about your willingness to think outside the box, but not necessarily outside the relationship.
First Day of Any Season - While these four days of the year are not national holidays, they are demarcations and symbolic of the cycles of life. Each season, of course, will inspire a slightly different theme for your special day: Love Blooms Eternal in the Spring, Winter Wonderland Wedding, Fall Festival and Summer of Love, etc.
Income Tax Day - Yes, it's not that romantic but it's deductible. And don't laugh because I married my first wife on this date and it was always easy to remember.
Mother's Day or Father's Day - Admittedly, it's a special gift to the people in your lives who made it all possible. Just make certain it doesn't backfire and your parents start thinking that you're trying to steal all the glory on their special days.
Independence Day - Seems somewhat odd to celebrate independence when you're uniting together as one, but fireworks at your ceremony or party might be really cool. Just make sure they're only up in the sky!
Halloween - As strange as it may seem, I played for a couple who got married on Halloween. And I can say it was one of the weirdest yet enjoyable experiences of my musical career. Trick or treat?
Thanksgiving - I can honestly say I've never seen or heard of a wedding or ceremony on or near this holiday. Somebody out there should do it for historical purposes. Maybe you could have your event on the replica of the Mayflower or hold your reception at a turkey farm. Let me know what happens, won't you?
Christmas, Chanukah and Kwanza - Forgive me if I've missed one of the other major holidays in December, but all of these holidays should be selected at your own risk. Remember that cost, effort and conflict are still three important issues to consider. Consider them very carefully during the mother (or father) of all holiday seasons.
There are countless other special days like birthdays, the anniversary of the day you both met, or at ten o'clock on the tenth day of the tenth month during the year 2010. There are dates of solar and lunar eclipses, or the longest and shortest days of the year. And there are dates which you draw at random to show your faith in fate.
In the end, it's your special day and every year for the rest of your lives you will celebrate on the day you selected. Remember, it's a little like getting a tattoo. It seemed like such a good idea at the time, but now...?
Happy National Wedding Day!
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