Washington's Population Of Lobbyists
Unlike Naylor, who in the movie takes a star turn before a Senate committee
, real-life lobbyists work hard to avoid becoming public costume zentai faces. When Congress calls, Big Tobacco, Alcohol, or Guns will send an industry executive, not a hired gun. But anyone who testifies must be coached in the cardinal rule, and that's where people like Quinn come in. ''Never blurt out the truth,'' he tells clients. ''Stick to the script. When you blurt out the truth, that's what gets everybody in trouble.''Away from the witness table, lobbyists are relentlessly opportunistic. During the 2004 Presidential campaign, Senator John Kerry's handlers may have thought putting their candidate on TV with a shotgun and hunting gear would show voters that the candidate was a red-blooded American. The NRA immediately smelled blood -- and a way to push its agenda and favored candidate, President George W. Bush. Within 30 minutes of Kerry's foray into a goose pit in Ohio, Cox was on a plane to the state, where he held a press conference blasting the senator for posing with a shotgun that would have been banned by legislation the lawmaker had supported in Congress.
Today, Kerry is back to being just another Democrat from Massachusetts. And the NRA? ''Our approval ratings are higher than the President, the Democratic Party, and the Republican Party,'' Cox says.
''Higher than the President and the Vice-President combined!'' quips Quinn, a lifelong Democrat.
Washington's population of lobbyists has doubled since 2000, an acknowledgement by Big Business of the ever-increasing spider costume power of Big Government, even in GOP hands. ''I think it was [FedEx Corp. CEO] Fred Smith who said, 'I never worry about my competition putting me out of business, but I'll always worry about those bastards in Washington putting me out of business,''' says Cox.
The head count for the Sin Industries, according to researchers at lobbyists.info: More than 60 button-holers, on staff with gun groups and companies as well as lobby firms, for firearms; almost 200 for beer, wine, and liquor; and 170-plus for tobacco. (The Tobacco Institute, which served as the model for Thank You's fictional Academy of Tobacco Studies, was forced to close up shop in the 1998 settlement of smoking lawsuits brought by the states.)
Buckley's book, and the movie made from it, skewers exactly these types of Washington players. But he nonetheless sees the romance of it. ''These guys get to have more fun than most other lobbyists,'' he says. ''Who would you rather hang out with -- the people from the cancer society, or these guys?''
Sure they're fun. But do they ever stop spinning? Even after four bottles of wine, the message is still exquisitely controlled. ''catsuit Off the record, we'll have a really good conversation,'' says Quinn, pointing to a rolling tape recorder. ''If this machine wasn't working I could really tell you something.''
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