Ten More Tips For Teens - Communication is More Than Just a Grunt
Ten More Tips For Teens - Communication is More Than Just a Grunt
Whether or not you're a skilled orator, ignoring those around you is generally not the first lesson in good communication. Here are ten tips for teens to communicate better with parents and other evil creatures.
1. Talk. Just because your rugby buddies understand that "ergh" means How-did-you-do-on-the-World-History-test-I-had-trouble-with-number-11-what-did-you-think-of-the-substitute-teacher-in-Physics-and-can-you-believe-Angela-talked-to-me-today-see-you-at-practice doesn't mean that the rest of us have a clue what you are trying to say.
2. Speak clearly. As parents, it's part of our job to be sure your vocal chords continue to work. Actually open your mouth and speak. Mumbling is not communication, it is an imitation of a crazy person. And speaking of opening your mouth,
3. Use the magic words. We taught you the words "please," "thank you," and "you're welcome" for a reason. Polite human beings use them to smooth the rough edges of life. So far, we're still operating under the impression that you are a human and we expect you to be reasonably polite and considerate in your attempts to interact with the rest of us.
4. Save abbreviations for FB, Twitter and texting. Do not reply to your mother's inquiry about your day with "IDK." This is liable to drive her insane. "BRB" is not a reasonable substitute for "may I please be excused?" JK does not under any circumstances mean "I'm sorry."
5. Rolling your eyes and sighing deeply communicates a great deal. (Ditto for the term "whatev.") Unfortunately it does not communicate anything positive. We understand your intent is just that-to point out how hopeless and out of touch we (your beloved parents) are. We already know. Why push our buttons?
6. Choose your timing carefully. Try to remember that you are not the only thing going on in our lives. It is not always true that you are the center of our worlds. Often, but not always. So if your parent is in a snit about something, you should be smart enough to figure out that this is not the right time to bring up the subject of getting your hair dyed three different colors just in time for your cousin's wedding.
7. Do you want to argue or do you want to get your way? You probably can't do both. It is a well-proven fact that yelling at parents will only cause them to dig in their heels and listen less. The more screeching, the less we can decipher what you're saying so we close our ears to protect our tender eardrums. Then we roll our eyes. (It's not any more productive when we do it, but we were teens once too.) If you really want to change our minds, take a deep breath, and calmly (you must not forget the calmly part oh best beloved) say something like, "Beautiful Mother of Mine. I would like to discuss Would you be kind enough to spare me a few minutes for a civilized conversation on the topic?" Then rationally and calmly (did I mention the calmly part?) you can outline your logic. This will not always result in you getting your way. But it might occasionally lead to compromise. Speaking of compromise
8. Keep an open mind. It is entirely possible that the conditions we want to impose are ones that you will be able to live with if only you'll actually listen. We are not completely unreasonable. Just mostly unreasonable. Perhaps you'll catch us on a good day. Speaking of keeping an open mind,
9. Try to remember that we are not the stupidest people on the planet. We occasionally have good ideas, interesting perspectives, and useful thoughts. Listen and evaluate before rolling your eyes and ignoring us. Try saying thank you in a tone that indicates you appreciate our attention rather than you feel you are agreeing to face a firing squad.
10. Stating something is not the same as asking and receiving permission. "I'm taking the car now" does not automatically mean that I've agreed that you MAY take the car. "I'm going over to Jack's" does not mean you have permission to leave the house prior to finishing your homework. "See ya" is in no way a sufficient conversation about how you are going to spend the next several hours.
Talk to us. You might just find out we're not completely evil.
Judi Cogen is a Principal with J Grace Consulting and an expert in reducing unwanted organizational turnover. Her Selection Strategist Program helps companies reduce turnover and take the guesswork out of hiring by using proven conative testing and company specific analytics to select the right person for the right pos
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