Teach Your Children Discipline: Why Does My Child Misbehave??
Before you can teach your children discipline
, you must learn WHY your child does what she does. Whether good or bad behavior, recognizing the underlying cause will tell you exactly what you should do to either encourage or prevent the behavior, allowing you to teach your children discipline proactively.When parents set out to teach their children discipline, they often overlook two factors that cause behaviors they are trying to stop.
The first factor is children's natural fear of abandonment. Children may act out to get attention, love, or distract from something they see as potentially dangerous. A child may become aggressive, bossy or non-compliant (attempting to fill the role of "parent," in a way) if he doesn't feel that his parent is taking a strong enough role in guiding, protecting and providing clear boundaries for him. You may group causes such as hunger, exhaustion or an inability to deal with confusing emotions under this factor as well. If the child's basic physical and emotional needs are not being met, the child will naturally force itself into the parent's awareness via whining, fits and other disruptive behaviors. Trying to teach your children discipline under those conditions will almost always backfire.
The second factor is boredom. Really? Does that seem too simplistic? But it's true. Children are like sponges, designed to learn. This is why statements like, "Why?" and "I want to help!" are so common. Misbehaviors, pouting, whining or tantrums in public situations like doctors' offices, restaurants, church, car rides, shopping, errands, or dinner at grandma's may all be linked to boredom.
So what can you do? Before you begin to teach your children discipline, talk to them and ask what they are feeling. Help give their emotions names, so they can understand what they are feeling and what to do about it. As you learn what is causing their behaviors, help them recognize their own triggers and teach them what to do when they occur. Teach your children discipline by being aware and proactive: Give your kids a backpack of books or toys whenever you're going to expect them to be quiet for an extended period of time, or give them educational assignments (like helping you find certain items on the grocery list, or counting the number of people they can see in the store wearing glasses or red shirts).
Teaching your children discipline is about more than just disciplining them. It's also about teaching them (and yourself) to recognize what is going on in their minds and their world, and learning to adapt and respond appropriately instead, instead of responding with misbehavior. Learning the triggers and causes of your child's behavior is the groundwork that will help you teach your children discipline that works!
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