Setting Limits And Getting Kids To Listen
Setting Limits And Getting Kids To Listen
It is normal and healthy for children and teens to test the limits set by their parents. It is important that parents are comfortable with setting limits for their kids, and equally so that the limits are enforced. Problems arise when children do not challenge the rules as set out by a parent, but act out instead, or end up challenging the lines of authority with unsafe or unacceptable behavior.
Parents should help their children learn how to test limits in a healthy way that does not encourage the child to manipulate the parent. By testing the limits placed upon them, children can grow and learn to be more responsible. As the child pushes, a parent should ask if the child is ready for a change in the limits, and if the parent themself is prepared to allow the limit to budge. Parents can sometimes have a hard time with the concept that sometimes they have to take risks with the limits in order for the child to grow and mature.
As the teen years approach, parents will notice more resistance from the child, and that the limits are tested more forcefully and far more often. A child or teen does not understand the need for the limitations placed upon them, and cannot understand why the parent has placed the limit on them. It is unproductive to try and get the child to understand the need for rules, and in seeking validation from the child by trying to explain your position as a parent, you are empowering the child, and undermining your authority.
Setting limits can be a difficult task for some parents. Deciding where to draw the line can help. Often, a limit is placed to prevent harm. This may be something the child does not understand, as the invincibility of youth is a strong belief. It is not for the child to understand the limit, it is just that they must live with it, abide by it, or be willing to accept the consequences that will follow if the limit is pushed too far.
Rewarding proper behavior can be one way to help enforce positive actions. Consequences should be enforced when necessary, and the consequence should always be consistent. It is the job of a parent to teach right from wrong. Telling the child what the limit is, and explaining the consequence that will follow if the undesirable behavior continues is only part of the battle. When a situation arises that requires a parent to follow with consequences, they must always be enforced to solidify in the child's mind that their behavior will not be tolerated.
As resistant as children can be to the limits placed upon them, it does give them a sense of security. Be comfortable in the role of a parent that must enforce limits and say no to a child. It is impossible to have the respect of a child that sees you as someone that they can manipulate, or someone that will not say no and stick to it. Acting like the child's friend and being loose with rules and limits is a sure fire way to loss of control as a parent.
Being able to calmly set limits and deal with situations that arise as a result is imperative. If the parent appears calm when setting limits and giving consequences, the child is far more likely to accept them. Yelling and being mean only hurts the child's feelings and turns the situation into an argument and a power struggle. Kids Hour in Cornwall Make Your Canteen Area A Favorite Place Of Employees Wholesale Trendy Teens' Clothing favorite children's Class Easy Craft Idea for Kids – How to Make Play-Dough Make Your Kids Party More Memorable With Limokidz How To Earn Money Selling Discount Designer Kids Clothes Online Fun Activities for Kids - Birthday Craft Activities Courteeners Tickets For The Courteeners And Miles Kane Uk Tour 2010 Christmas Gifts - Children Shoppers ChildTime Magic Party tips Things You Should Know When You Want To Conceive A Boy Baby Common Teenager Magazines