Self Esteem and Teens

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Self Esteem and Teens

According to Young Minds in an average secondary school of 1000 pupils 100 have self harmed by the age of 16,100 will be suffering from mental health problems and experiencing significant stress, 50 pupils will be seriously depressed 20 pupils will have obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), and 5-10 are likely to attempt suicide.

These statistics are quite terrifying and reveal that our modern day teens are under increased pressure and their mental health and sense of self esteem is being affected. In fact, a recent Unicef study showed UK teenagers had amongst the worst emotional health amongst high income countries in Europe. Self-esteem is all about how much people value themselves, the pride they feel in themselves, and how worthwhile they feel. Self-esteem is important because feeling good about oneself can affect how you act. An adolescent who has high self-esteem will make friends easily, is more in control of his or her behavior, and will be able to enjoy life more.

Those with low self esteem will tend not to believe in themselves and will not be able to appreciate their talents and abilities, take praise as they talk negatively about themselves. They often have a feeling of being unloved and unwanted.

The daily pressures of school, parents and "getting in with the right crowd" combined with changing bodies can be a great strain on teens and it is easy to see why they reach out for the temptations of drink, smoking, drugs and sex before they fully comprehend what they are doing. Body image is a great problem for teens who feel they have to live up to media images of perfectly airbrushed and blemish free faces and bodies. It is easy to see why around 10% of teens have anorexia bulimia or binge eating disorders, (Consensus, 2010).

Many teens feel they do not look right when they compare themselves to actors and models. Body image can be closely linked to self-esteem as they care more about how others see them. It is very difficult to help teens get themselves out of the frame of mind that they have to fit other people's "ideals", when the media embraces the cult of the celebrity so much. The press publicise varying images of those in the public eye on a daily basis and conflicting articles about the way we should look. Celebrities are openly accused of being too fat, too thin, too blas and promiscuous - the list goes on. As adults, we can be less nave about the impact that celebrities play on our personas - we understand that some "play up" to certain images. We understand the high wage packets that they earn in exchange for keeping up this public image. Equally, we have learnt that life is less stressful, once we start accepting who we are and stop trying to emulate others.

Talk to your teen. Help them understand the importance of being an individual in today's society. Some might question this - it is difficult for them to recognise their own strengths when they may not be "the norm". However, challenge this. Ask them to write down the things that they respect and chances are, the people that they consider to be their role model, may not behave in the manner that they consider respectful. Once you point out this difference to your teen, they will be able to understand more clearly the role that the media plays on society and the fact that they have a choice not to follow it. There is a difference between enjoying these celebrity centred articles for light reading and following it as if it is a strict guideline for the way we should behave.

Reassure your teen of their strengths and help them be confident in themselves. Once this becomes more commonplace, a more relaxed approach to life should be notable. If you need some ideas to try and help make your teens more confident - try these confidence boosters for teens.

10 confidence boosters for teens:

1. Stand Tall - As you walk down the street, remember to stand tall and take in a deep breath. Imagine you are breathing in confidence!

2. Smile - Even if it is the last thing you feel like doing, keep smiling. Try and look for little things to smile about, smile at strangers. Just the act of smiling releases endorphins into your bloodstream.

3. Compliments - Every time someone pays you a compliment, accept it graciously and really own that compliment rather than disregard or laugh it off.

4. Diary - Keep a diary and try to note down all all your successes. Celebrate and reward your successes!

5. Friends - Surround yourself with positive and confident people who make you feel good about yourself. Do activities that encourage you to get out in nature and exercise. You might like create a `dream team` - a group of people who support and motivate you and share your dreams and wishes. Share your ideas and dreams and make steps to make these into a reality.

6. Mirror - Look into a mirror and say `I love you`. Remind yourself of what makes you special. This is a hard one to start with, but will get easier with time.

7. Achievements - Make a book of your achievements, talents and qualities. List all your successes and things that you are proud of. List all the things that makes you the special person that you are and include all the things that you have done to others and how you have made others happy. You might like to put them in a book and refer to it when you are feeling low.

8. Talk - As much as possible talk to yourself in a kind and positive way. If you notice you talk to yourself in a negative way with put downs, try to stop and change it immediately.

9. Affirmations - Each day, repeat one positive statement or affirmation. You might say `I am positive and everything that happens is good` or `I am special and I make a difference`. You might even like to theme your day as a positive, happy, confident, joyful or special day and do things that make you feel that way. Here are some ideas: I am unique, i am special, I think about all the things that make me special, I choose thoughts that make me feel good about myself, I deserve to have good in my life, I love the fact that I am different and unique, I am not afraid to be different, I am not afraid to be special, I know that I am loved and respected, I love and respect myself, I believe in myself I know that I make a difference to those around me, I feel good about myself. I believe in myself. I believe in myself I believe in myself, I feel confident, I fill my mind with positive thoughts about myself, I am proud of the things I have achieved. I congratulate myself. I love myself, I am unique and wonderful, I love and accept myself, I love and accept myself.`

10. Relax and Visualise - Relaxation is a great help to feeling better about yourself as it helps you feel good and help manage feelings and emotions.Close your eyes and imagine you are standing in front of a mirror. See yourself standing tall, smiling and looking great. Notice how you feel. Let the positive and confident feelings wash all over you.

Here is a relaxation exercise to practice:

Sit comfortably on your chair, uncross your legs and place your feet firmly on the ground. Move your body to make it comfortable. "Close your eyes and place your hands on your lap. Feel yourself becoming calm and relaxed. Take in a deep breath and breathe all the way out. As you sit there, feel your mind becoming still and quiet. Imagine you are sitting on your own private tropical island. Feel the warmth of the sun on your body as you sit on warm sand.

Listen to the gentle sound of waves lapping against the shore. Look out that the crystal turquoise blue water. Spend a few moments watching the waves moving over the sand. Watch the rhythmic movement of the waves. Feel your tension melting away as you watch the waves move over the sand. Notice how the sunlight sparkles on the water. Watch the sparkling water as it ripples gently. Smell the refreshing salt in the air. Take in a deep breath and breathe out gently.

Breathe in, breathe out. Feel yourself becoming more calm and focussed as you breathe in and out. Enjoy the smell of salt air. Notice how you feel on this tranquil island. You are far away from everyday stresses and problems. Spend sometime enjoying being free from worry and tension. Feel the warm sun on your shoulders and feel the warm breeze on your face and hair. Feel the sand between your fingers and toes. Just relax and breathe. You feel calm and quiet and in control. As you sit there, you become absorbed by the beauty around you. You notice the palm trees gently swaying in the breeze. You focus on the colourful birds and wildlife. You feel soft and quiet inside as you enjoy sitting on your own private tropical island. As you sit here, make a list of all the things you are going to do to help you de-stress your life.

Make a list of activities that you think will help you become calmer and more focussed. Make a list of three things you are going to promise to do to help you stay stress-free and happy. Spend a few moments on your tropical island the peace and quiet and m

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