Rust, Rust Cocktail Lounge, Bars, Nightclubs, Clubbing, Melbourne, Cocktails, Cocktail Bars, Review,

Rust Cocktail Lounge in one phrase? Filthily sophisticated

. With a dark staircase deceivingly inserted between two main street restraints, this place is a real gem.

All the boxes of urban bohemia are ticked at Rust - old dusty chandeliers? Check. Vintage, ripped leather couches? Check. Carpet so sticky that when you lift your leg, your foot comes out of your shoe? Check.

Dark, moody and badly lit, this bar is perfect for cozy nights out with friends, lovers or even complete strangers. Rust specialises in thoughtfully concocted cocktails, and the sticky fingerprint laminated menu book boasts around fifty or so delicious and dirty drinks to suit every tastebud. The 'Apple Mule' martini is a refreshing sip that manages the perfect balance between fizz and juice, while an electric pink coloured 'Sex on the Beach' always has the girls giggling.

If your after a drunken adventure ASAP, and can skilfully unstick page 3 of the menu, pay attention to the right hand column - all cocktails are rated in terms of alcohol intensity, and the more mini martini glasses that feature on the line, the higher the alcohol content, which means the faster you will get giggly... And when at Rust, we all end up leaving just a little bit giggly.

Keeping in check with the grand decor, one beverage that is served best shared is the coveted Long Island iced tea. The mish mash of vodka, tequila, gin, rum and coke comes in a quaint white teapot, with 2-3 accompanying shot glasses. Just like a doctor's prescription, it is advised you pour quietly and consume quickly, remembering to raise that little pinky finger.

The staff at rust seem softly spoken and take the time to execute your drink to a minimum level of perfection, even during busy periods. While you may be waiting a few minutes longer here than your average bar, you can at least devour your 'Blowjob' in a satisfied manner, knowing that a little bit of love has been used.

Further on the filthy element, Rust certainly knows how to keep the horny happy. A whole page of the menu is dedicated to some of Melbourne's most raunchy cocktails. Feeling frisky? A 'Wet Pussy' should be on the cards. A little generous? 'Cum in my Mouth' is for you.

However, don't let the names of these drinks freak you out though - quite possibly more disgusting is the toilet facilities. Black filth in corners, wonky working taps and a cigarette burnt toilet seat teamed with a lack of toilet tissue makes "breaking the seal" an idiotic act of weakness. On several occasions patrons have been forced to ask staff for toilet paper. Perhaps the volume of drinks to the volume of toilet bowls fail, but it is best advised to BYO paper if you're desperate.

Tunes and grooves manage to get the tick of approval at Rust, which cover electronic commercial pop, hip-hop and party beats, which zone the background and break awkward ices when meeting.

Rust Cocktail Lounge - Dirty? Yes. Filthy? Yes. Cheap? Oh yes! Great Fun? Hell Yes!!! Get happy with 2-for-1 cocktails on Friday nights - But don't forget the stainless steel, non stick shoe caps!

by: Lana Wilson

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