Rules For Creating A Happy Blended Family As A Divorced And Remarried Mmom

Being a divorced mother in a blended family is probably the most difficult situation to navigate

. However, it is often only as hard as we make it. Let us face it; the divorce is over, and you will move on with your life and find someone else, and you need to understand that your ex will as well. Remarriage is inevitable. This creates a step mom, step dad, step kids, and a completely new step family dynamic for everyone to adjust to. Understanding that is only half the battle, there are rules that should be adhered to if you want it to not affect the kids in a negative way.

1.Work as a team on the visitation schedule: Schedule changes do occur, and it is important to inform your ex of these changes as soon as you know about them. An emergency may come up at times, but not planning ahead negatively impacts the kids and step kids most of all.

2.Avoid sabotage: This happens all too often in a stepfamily. The step mom or step dad has the brilliant idea of feeding the kids a huge meal before dropping them off at the house of the ex for Thanksgiving. Or perhaps you intentionally return them late when you know your ex has something planned for a certain time. Being part of a blended family involves much responsibility. This involves doing what is best for the children, rather than trying to exact a measure of a revenge for something that happened years ago before your divorce.

3.Avoid negative comments: A blended family can be tough to adapt to for many people, and maybe your children's new step mom is one of them. That is still no reason to speak badly of her in front of your kids. She is part of your kid's step family, and is responsible for the care of your children when they are at dad's house.

4.Choose a new partner for the right reasons: Your list for a new husband needs to be a little more specific now- because you are not just looking for a mate, but also someone to co-parent your kids. You need someone who is willing to begin, on day one, as part of a blended family and be willing to get to know and love your children as if they were his own.

5.Do not be needy: By needy, I mean financially needy. You undoubtedly have a signed agreement in place that details the plans for custody, visitation, child support, assets, etc. You signed it as being fair and just, so you have no right to ask for funds from your ex that go beyond his legal obligations.

Many of these might seem a little difficult on the surface. However, the important thing to focus on moving forward positively, and beginning life again. This is your second chance, and change to provide yourself with a healthy, stable life, and good example to your kids and your new blended family. You and your spouse can provide a stable, loving home, and one that can help your kids move forward from the divorce and face other life changes more easily.

by: Shirley Cress Dudley

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