Relocating With Children Overseas
Moving. The word itself causes both young and old to pause and consider all that
it means. Uprooting from all that is familiar sounds stressful. Moving to a new place with new experiences and friends sounds exciting. There are so many emotions that go into relocating that it's impossible to completely describe.While the move can be stressful for adults, it can be just as unsettling for children. Parents understand why they must move and all the good that will come from the move - a new job, new opportunities, a new home and new friends. Our kids, however, don't have this privilege. Oftentimes, they can't foresee the positive things coming their way. Instead, they can only see what they will have to leave behind.
You can expect a wide range of emotional responses from your children. Some kids get rebellious, hoping to gain some influence over their situation. Your kids may be positive and upbeat about moving one week and depressed and sulky the next. It's tough for them to process the information so they must be given the freedom to have ups and downs.
The older your kids are, the more difficult moving will be for them. Younger kids usually aren't as attached to their location as pre-teens and teenagers are. You may have to make some sacrifices to help your kids adjust, such as a long drive to a better school or allowing them to take some classes online. Be flexible and help them through these difficult days.
It's important that your kids are involved in your move from the very beginning. While you don't have to give them the details - being aware of their age - you can share your plans. This will give them time to adjust, ask questions and process the news. They should help with packing, finding a new home and any other important activities in which they can be included.
You need to discuss the move with your kids as much as is appropriate. Do not criticize them if they are upset. Instead, let them vent and let them express their concerns. You can listen and sympathize with their questions. At this point, you can remind them of the great opportunities and experiences awaiting them. You can be positive, letting them know that while it will be hard for everyone, there are many good things that will come from this move. You must be sensitive to the feelings of your kids. Keep an eye out for fluctuating moods but give them space. Allow them to say good-bye to their friends and relatives. They may want to have their friends over for a party or sleepover. Be sure to get the addresses, phone numbers and emails of friends as well.
Once you get to your new location, take the time to sightsee with your children. Take them to their new school. Register them for an art class or gym class or book night at the library so they can make friends more quickly. In time, your kids will get used to their new home and you all will settle down so you can enjoy your new location!
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