Positive Parenting - Solutions To Child Misbehavior
THE REASON WHY KIDS DON'T LISTEN, DON'T OBEY AND SOMETIMES JUST DRIVE YOU NUTS
You know how you feel when you get stressed, you can actually feel the stress affect your body, your emotions and your thinking. Well, the reason you feel that is because the Adrenal Glands release Toxic Hormones into your body called Cortisol.
What typically happens before a child misbehaves is there is a gradual increase of Cortisol in the brain. This will cause children to become Hyperactive, Defiant, Argumentative, Whiney, Throw Tantrums, Not Listen and become Physically Violent and Aggressive.
Simply put, what this means is that whenever Cortisol Levels go DOWN, children will listen, behave and relate better. And when Cortisol Levels go UP, children will misbehave. Most parents are causing Cortisol levels to GO UP in their children by THE WAY THEY DISCIPLINE.
THE BEST DISCIPLINE IS DISCIPLINE WITHOUT REWARDS OR PUNISHMENTS.
Using punishment gets kids to obey out of FEAR and using rewards also gets kids to obey out of fear. That's the fear of NOT getting the reward or their parents approval. So in both cases their motivation is FEAR, not love or sincere cooperation.
Fear causes our body's natural defense mechanism called the Flight or Fight Reaction. It is a surge of hormones into your body giving you a rush of energy so you can Fight or Run from danger. This is why rewards or punishments may seem to work at first, but if steps to decrease the Cortisol level are not taken, the misbehavior keeps coming back.
Soon neither method will have any effect, leading to all kinds of meltdowns, arguments,tantrums, back-talk and violent outbursts will continue or get Worse.
So, this makes REWARDS and PUNISHMENT the LEAST EFFECTIVE WAY to get any child to listen and respect you.
TWO POWERFUL KEYS TO GET YOUR CHILD TO REALLY LISTEN
Key number 1 - You need to realize that you are surrounded by parents who discipline their children the WRONG WAY!
If you think that "Time Outs" and "Raising Your Voice" are necessary to discipline your child Think Again. These practices actually are making things WORSE.
Key Number 2 - The 3 Reasons for Misbehavior are...
1- they have a Legitimate Need like food, water, rest or affection.
2- they are Stressed and have Cortisol buildup in the brain and are not thinking clearly.
3- they Need Information as they may not know that their behavior is undesirable
YOUR CHILD'S MISBEHAVIOR IS NOT ALWAYS CAUSED BY STRESS
While defiance and not listening are the outgoing signs, the real ROOT of the problem is RESPECT and TRUST. Using any technique to stop defiance without first establishing RESPECT with your child is a recipe for disaster. But if a child respects you, they will not be defiant, they will not rebel and they will tend to cooperate without putting up a fuss.
Positive Parenting - Solutions To Child Misbehavior
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