Piecing Together The Your's Child's Mind Puzzle, Understand
Piecing Together your Childs Mind Puzzle
Have you ever wondered how to enter your childs world? Or what is going on inside that little brain of theirs? What are they thinking when they dare to say NO to your requests? Believe it or not there is a way to get your foot into the door of their thought process.
Chances are, if you are anything like me, you dont even attempt to figure out whats going on in their mind. When you bark a command you expect immediate action without any delays or complaints. So why do they so often answer back with a no, or any other negative response to your requests?
Unfortunately children cant always switch out of whatever mode they are in at a moments notice. If you think about it you probably cant either! Lets say you are watching some TV (well say football for most men, and HG TV for most women), you are Totally engrossed in your show. Now, lets say your spouse (or kids) come in and try to talk to you, how are you going to react? Its likely that they will end up on the receiving end of an Uh-huh response. You are not really listening to them (nor do you really care at the moment what they are talking about) you just want to get back to focusing on your show. Children (believe it or not) are just smaller versions of you and me. They have similar traits, and one of those is not being able to quickly shift gears from one focus to another. So, how do we enter their minds and figure out how best to piece the puzzle together in a way that will get their attention and action?
Lets go back to the TV situation, and your spouse comes in to talk with you. This time though instead of just talking to you (and expecting you to listen about whatever they want from you), they first start by putting attention on your current focus? Like: Whos winning?, Are one of the teams playing your favorite team?, Did Hilde design that awful room? Once theyve opened with a question that shows interest in your current focus it is much easier from that point to slowly turn your focus to their needs and get you to really listen to them. Guess what? Kids are the same way!
Ok, as a father of 3 I know this is an extremely hard habit to break. Were the parents after all they should do what we tell them immediately no matter what they are doing. However, as nice as that sounds you will find that you will have significantly less battles with your children when you first show a little interest in them and what they are doing before requesting action from them.
Try to use some statements that you know they will agree with first. For example: Are you having fun playing with that toy?, Do you like having time to play?. Then move into the request by saying we want to be able to play tomorrow, so we need to pick up the toys now.
Im sure there are many better examples and opportunities for using this tactic than what Ive used above, but picking up and bedtime definitely are some of the hotspots for kids.
In summary: If you want compliance from your children, step into their world, piece together their mind puzzle and you will have far less temper tantrums, fits, and dis-obedience. What will take you an extra 5 minutes could likely save both you and your child a great deal of stress and yelling.
Good luck and happy parenting!
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