Parenting Your Adult Children
Our family, as well as many other hundreds of families across this country is welcoming home our college graduated children during this season
. What a milestone our children have accomplished, a college degree. As the car is packed up with the contents of our childrens possessions over the last four years and we head back home nothing has been said but it is clear that going back and living the way the family use to live before the child left for school is not an option. Parenting adult children while they live at home will take a mind shift from both parties and some healthy respect as well.When your recent college graduate comes home and the honeymoon stage of having them home again starts to recede is a perfect time to set down and talk about the boundaries that you will have with your adult child. Privacy is a huge hurtle for many parents to make in this adjustment of the family dynamic. Remembering that our children did not share every single thing that went on in their lives with us when they were away at college they have developed an independence that we as parents should be thankful for.
There are still the rules of the house and it does not matter the age of the person living there, the rules apply to all. The values and morals that we have always had have not changed we are still a non smoking household and we do not have alcohol in the house. And we all have chores to do to keep our household running functionally. The lessons learned during the high school years, click here to read that blog, still apply. Each person is responsible for themselves and their own messes. We are finding that our adult children have no problem fulfilling the expectations we have, we as the parents just need to let them know what those expectations are.
Perhaps the biggest challenge to having your adult children living with you during this time is you as the parent allowing your child to be a grown up. Encouraging them with their decisions but not to take control of their lives. To be a support system but not to be their long term financial backers, they need to find a job; times are tough out there for highly educated people with no experience in their fields. That is ok; they have a place to live, food to eat until they do land a job. But finding a career is the name of the game of being an adult so there is no other option.
So on your way of bring home your grown child from college enjoy the achievements and memories of that time. When you arrive home set up a time to talk with your children, letting them know things that you are thinking and expecting out of them. Ask them if they have ideas on how to make this transition workable as well. Listen to each other; give privacy to each person as well. Be an encouragement to one another and provide a supportive atmosphere that will give time for finding a job. Parenting a grown child is a challenging task for dad and mom but the relationship that you can build during this time will make all the challenges worth it in the end.
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