How to Create Smart Routines for You and Your Children When Parenting with Your Ex
How to Create Smart Routines for You and Your Children When Parenting with Your Ex
Inconsistent routines can cause the most together parent to plummet into the emotional abyss of reaction.
If you learn and use the techniques that I'm about to show you, you'll avoid the hideous frustration you feel when you've compromised your own life again because you've got children with an Ex who disregards schedules.
You'll avoid the anger when another weekend of plans is shoved aside because your Ex doesn't pick up the kids. You'll know the best way to handle the heart-pulling hurt your children feel when they're let down again.
If you take what I'm about to teach you and use it, that dreaded gut-churn that automatically takes hold as you drive closer to the hand-over spot, will dissolve.
You'll stop being gob-smacked, even surprised, by the disrespect your Ex shows you in front of your children.
You'll have less clothes and shoes go missing, and less emergency trips to pick up the homework due tomorrow that's been left behind.
When scientists researched the importance of routines in families, they found that good routines are directly linked to four key areas:
Higher parental competency
Better child health
Greater parent-child harmony
Stronger academic achievement
There's four really important reasons why this is so critical in your children's development - and none more so than those who are in a Complex Family; that is, a child who has been touched by separation, divorce or some form of family breakdown.
Since divorce, your children are living in a home environment that is outside of their control. By this I mean, they didn't chose for their parents to live in two homes.
This 'out of control' feeling is something that children adjust to when they're given great support and tools. But if these things are missing, your children are left to cope.
In case you're not sure what coping looks like, it's when they modify their behaviour, lower their expectations, shut down, withdraw, or become resigned to situations.
When this happens, it builds a feeling of powerlessness in the child's own world. This feeling increases their belief that they have no choice, say, or power over what happens in their life.
The result of feeling out of control in their day-to-day world is a life-sucking hopelessness that breads anger or apathetic numbness. This of course, belittles their self-esteem and their hope for the future.
Of course the hard part here is that even though you know that routines are important, you've got someone else in the picture - Your Ex!
The question comes then, if they don't respect or live to routines, what do you do? When you become so frustrated with the messing around in your life, let-alone the effects on your children, you need a strategy to know how to handle this for you and for your children...
Here are the 3 action steps to solve the routine issues and put you back in the drivers seat of your life. And of course, get the children back into having control in their world too!
Set up a routine that ranks highly in the 'Routines that Rock Test'.
Have the consequences of non-compliance understood by all.
Learn what you need to say and do when you're let down; how to follow the routine with its consequences.
RIGHT NOW make sure that you start to get routines established in your family. The first important thing to do is invest in this valuable program 'Routines That Rock' where I will save you hours of heartache, lawyers offices and legal battles while you try to get the best routine for your children. You'll learn how to take each of the three actions steps above and put it into practice.
In my 'Routines that Rock' program...
You'll learn what the four most important parts of a great routine are and the effects of these when they're not followed.
I cover what to do at handover time to create successful pick-ups and drop-offs where your children are not dreading them any longer.
I talk about your children's behaviour when they come back from the Ex's place and what you can do to make sure everyone is happier.
I answer the most FAQs that have been challenging over a decade of my own personal experience, and those when coaching and counselling.
Sadly, many Ex's who believed they could solve their routine issues end up in court, fighting for their rights. You can save yourself thousands of dollars in lawyers fees with unnecessary heartbreak while trying to get the best routine for your children. Don't waste your time and money any longer -- you can learn the answer right here!
The disappointments and anger your children live with from one weekend to the next can truly become a thing of the past.
This is PRICELESS and it's all answered in my 'Routines that Rock' program:
A series of videos with me walking you through each aspect of routines and making them work with your children and Ex.
Worksheet to help you sort out what the best routine is for your family.
Checklist to avoid items forgotten at handovers.
Ask your question throughout the program.
Real answers to your Routine problems - and they can be solved today!
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