Happy Child Guide - Why Do Some Of Us Really Need Help?
Happy Child Guide - Why Do Some Of Us Really Need Help
?I have never known a parent who does not want to do the very best for their child. That said, I have seen many examples of behavior, which shows clearly that some are having real difficulty in that most special of all relationships. It might help to understand why some of these problems arise and point the way to do something about improving matters.
While the behavior I refer to is usually that of a child, this is not always the case. We sometimes need to look closely at what the parent is actually doing, during any problem situation.
It is sadly true that intent is just not enough to ensure that one is an adequate parent, never mind the outstanding parent that most of us would wish to be.
It is no accident that when you talk to people about how their lives have turned out, in more cases than not, the relationship with their parents is acknowledged has having had a huge influence. I know that I hope and pray that when my children are asked, I would not feel ashamed on hearing their answers.
However, hopes and prayers are rarely, if ever, enough in this modern highly developed world. Perhaps there was a time when a child's experiences were limited to what happened within the extended family and immediate local community. Advice and influence came only from people you knew well and trusted. Grand parents, aunts and uncles etc. were on hand to back you up and provide support in helping with the development of the next generation.
The modern reality is so very different; our children are open to so many sources of information, influence and experiences. It is now no wonder that they do not always react to life situations in ways that we expect. It can also come as no surprise that these reactions are sometimes less than desirable.
In order to understand better why these problems occur, we need to be constantly aware of just what it is that is being 'reflected' in a child's actions. Is it something they saw happen in a TV program? Perhaps a friend told them something or shared an experience you would rather they had not?
There is something even more important to consider: could their tone of voice, use of language or attitude be anything they have seen in your behavior. In an ideal world they would see and hear only what we would wish them to do, but in reality their presence is sometimes forgotten. If this should happen during moments of frustrated or angry actions, maybe they are simply proving how good a mimic they are?
All of these type of situations can follow, just because life is not as simple as it used to be. It is not too surprising then, that the solutions to any persistent problems are not so simple either.
In our quest to be as good a parent as possible, it is wise to begin as early as possible and arm ourselves with any tools or information we might need, to keep in front of any potential problems.
Being a good parent is probably the greatest challenge most of us will face. While it is accepted that training is necessary for the successful performance of a job, learning about parenthood has not been a priority. There is now an acceptance that such training can pay huge dividends with a child's happy development and harmony within the family.
Please be aware that there is an enormous amount of helpful information available, to help you feel confident doing the best you can for your child. Some time and effort invested now could save thousands in the cost of therapy later.
I feel tremendously lucky in having had the upbringing I had from my loving parents. I do hope that your children are going to be able to say something similar.
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