Giving Consequences To Kids To Teach Honesty
Teaching kids to be honest and see the value of consequences is a great challenge that a lot of parents face today.
A dilemma such as finding out that your child broke your neighbor's garden pots on purpose, without any valid reason is something that will test your idea of discipline. Although your child told you about it, it does not erase the fact that he did something wrong, and that he deserves some sort of punishment. But what should you to in order to give consequences to your child without giving the impression that his choice to tell the truth actually lead him to getting punished? The last that you want is for your child to think that he is being punished for telling the truth, right?
In that example, there is actually a chance to teach honesty without discouraging it. You can reward your child for being honest, although it might be a little vague. Still, you have to commend his bravery for telling the truth with sincerity and warmth by telling your child that you are glad that he told you about what he did. Tell him that you know it was something courageous, telling the truth.
You can say, "It helps me learn to trust you when you are this brave in telling me the truth, even when I know it was very difficult for you."
The fact that your child told you about what he did implies that he is aware that it was wrong. Acknowledge that by saying, "I know you know what you did was not right, and I hope that you will not do it again."
In order to let your child learn from what happened, you need to involve him in deciding what he should do to make amends with the neighbors. You can ask him, "What do you think should happen now?" Or you can tell him a simple thing like, "If someone broke your most favorite toy, what would you want them to do?" With proper guidance, your child will arrive at the realization that he needs to apologize and needs to replace what he broke.
You can use your own money to replace what was broken, but you should tell your child that he has to reimburse whatever you spend. Make a plan with him, perhaps cutting a portion of his allowance to go to a special box to pay you back, or give him a few extra chores for him to earn additional money.
Giving clear and logical consequences will make angry lectures and spanking unnecessary. Most importantly, your child will be able to value honesty and the consequences for his actions in the process.
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