A Brief Guide To Your Wedding Day In Ireland
Weddings are about many things, Romance for one
, with the hope of a long lasting union of man and woman in either sacred or secular happy matrimony. A sense of occasion therefore cannot help but be strongly involved in the drama of the day, however humble the surroundings may be. It is also about the coming together of two families, the making of new friends, the sweet sadness of parents who see the final evidence that their little girl or boy is that no longer, and of course, the free drinks at the reception.Nowadays weddings can vary so much that there is no longer a right and proper way for a wedding to work. With influences from other cultures and religions now affecting the modern marriage, and not only if either the bride or groom is of a different faith or from a foreign land.
With individualism being a part of democracy, there are now so many options available to couple whether they wish to wed in a church be it Catholic, Protestant or Evangelical. With the advent of Civil Ceremonies & Partnerships, the happy couple may wish to wed in their hotel or in a private setting on the grounds of their wedding venue, so long as it has approval from their local registry office and meets certain state guidelines. Civil Ceremonies are no longer perceived or frowned upon by family and friends, but can be well recived by all due to its convenience for those that are not pushed on the fuss.
By and far the largest amount of people still prefer to tie the knot in a traditional setting. This is not complying with convention as some would cynically say; but it is more an attempt to link past with a future that is hoped and prayed for, but still never certain.
Like a succesful war or battle, a successful wedding does not just happen it is down to meticulous planning mostly by the bride and sometimes with the imput of the groom
As with all successful events, it is advisable to start planning early by using Wedding Planner Tools such as Weddingszone.ie, some would say to start right of way, after your engagement, others would say to think about before rushing into things to quickly
The first and foremost decision that must be made is what sort of wedding will it be. Simple? Semi-formal? Formal? Only close friends and family? Everyone who knows you?
But do remember that the more extravagant a wedding will need more fine planning, if so this maybe where you will probably need some help and advice, but do not allow your original ideas to get hijacked or watered down by those who may see things differently to you.
The next most important consideration for you will be your venue, this must be picked right from the start so all other things can fall into place around it. If you decide on a summer wedding, bank holiday weekend or christmas wedding, you will need to set the date and book the venue early, as this tend to be the most popular times for have a wedding in Ireland.
As you visit the many venues that interest you will need to get a written quote from each venue you visit, this will help you to decide on the wedding venue your meets the most of your needs.
Money is the next thing that will arise, how will you finance it, what is your budget to be? This is where you will have to involve everyone who is footing the bill in the early discussion and decide what the essentials and non essentials will be for your wedding. This will help to quell any financial misunderstandings, it will also mean that the brakes will not be applied, when some things have already been agreed and ordered.This unfortunate situation inevitably leads to various aspects of the wedding day looking out of place with the rest.
Unless you are wealthy, then it's better to spread the budget as wide as possible, rather than splashing out big on a few things and having to tighten the belt elsewhere.
Like all other things to do with weddings, you have to try and remember who is paying for what part of the wedding, which can include the groom's family, the couple themselves. It is no longer the father of the bride meet the entire bill. But for modern traditionalists; here is a sample guide to what might be expected (should they be followed):
THE FAMILY OF THE BRIDE
Wedding gown and headpiece / headdress. All flowers for the ceremony and the reception, including decorations and bouquets for the bridesmaids and corsages for the grandmothers. All things rented for the ceremony and the reception, the wedding invitations, announcements and programs. The church fee, the catering fee, the confetti or rice bags, any musicians' fee, the photographers (video and or stills) fee. The wedding breakfast and bridal brunch charge, all the wedding favors. The mother of the bride's outfit, the formal wear for the father of the bride, and the wedding cake.
THE FAMILY OF THE GROOM
The rehearsal dinner, the groom's cake, the formal clothes for the father of the groom.
THE BRIDE
The groom's wedding ring and wedding gift. Gifts and luncheon for the bridesmaids, and traditionally accommodation for guests from afar.
THE GROOM
The flower bouquet, wedding ring and wedding gift for the bride, and his own formal wear. The corsages for both the mothers and gifts for the ushers. The fee for the officiant or cleric, and the marriage license. The limousines, buttonhole flowers for the groom and ushers, gloves and ties for all the ushers, and the honeymoon.
The formal wear for the best man, ushers, groomsmen, and the gowns for the bridesmaids, maid of honor/chief bridesmaid and the matron of honor should be paid for by themselves. And the formal clothing for any children who are pageboys or flower girls or just among those attending should be paid for by their respective parents.
Any attendants to the wedding ceremony should pay for their own travel, and gifts for the couple should be paid for by everyone. There is no rule that says gifts must be given, but it is often expected that they are.
These wedding gifts may also be the cause of some friction, so it is advised for the couple or their representative to remove the gift tags when they are on display (after noting who gave what so that a thank you note can be written, yes handwritten, not printed). This act will avoid any comparisons over the expense of presents to be made which may otherwise cause embarrassment.
Next to think of is who should be there, the guest list is always a problem. Everyone will have an opinion on who should and who definitely should not be there. But again, it is your wedding, so it should be your choice. Though discussion might be a good idea when it comes to seating arrangements, as you may not be aware about all long standing family and workplace feuds or recent heated disagreements.
When a final numbers have been agreed, do not forget to send out the invitations, thus allowing plenty of time for a reply. About 12 weeks before the date should be okay.
As the clock ticks down to the big day a few things should be borne in mind.
Ten weeks and sometimes more is the minimum notice time for the wedding gown to be made, so choose one earlier than this if you can. Any color can be acceptable in modern weddings, but white and variants are still the most popular choice. Some experts will advise that pure white is only really suitable for brunettes; natural blondes and redheads should go for cream or ivory in their opinion.
And use this opportunity to decide on what style of outfits is right for the bridesmaids, making sure none outshines the bride, and making doubly sure that the mothers of the bride and groom do not wear clashing colors.
It is traditionally the bride's mother (who after all will be the official hostess of the occasion) chooses her outfit first, and then the mother of the groom to select a complimentary but not matching color and style, this means a shorter or longer skirt depending on the first mom's choice. Both of their dresses should also be easily distinct from that of the bridesmaids. And whilst we've got these two notables in our sights; a happy couple should always encourage the two moms (and dads) to meet as early as possible after the engagement is announced, to allow for the smooth ironing out of any differences of opinion by the time that the big day itself comes around.
The wedding cake needs to be ordered with plenty of time to spare. A good cake must mature. It is going to be very expensive, but a good way to save a bit of cash is to make it yourself and then get it professionally decorated.
Next after the dreses and , will be the choice of wedding flowers, which should be sorted out a couple of months in advance as well, as florists sometimes have to take in to account buying seasons and prices. And remember you need two extra bouquets on top of the rest, as it's traditional for the groom to give both moms a flower bouquet when he makes his speech at the reception.
If you are going to have live music, don't forget that the musicians will need a break, but never hire any band solely on a recommendation of friends or family, you should always try to listen to them yourself first.
The big day has arrived with all the preparations are in place, and disasters have been avoided; the wedding flowers have arrived on time, no-one has get lost, the caterers are not going to run out of anything, and the wedding car has arrived.
What exactly happens next is down to the couple, the actual ceremony (if being held in a church) is not abided to by rules set in stone. Most priest allow variations to be made to the mass booklet, but will insist that certain things that are important cannot be changed, thus making it is easier to compose a wedding ceremony which is both individual and in the long line of traditional practice at the same time.
But a number ofdenominations still refuse to countenance interfaith marriages, though perhaps they will if a promise is made to bring up the children according to the 'proper faith,' whatever that might be.
The groom will be one of the first to arrive at the ceremony location, and accompanying him, the best man who will sit next to him and hand over the ring at the right moment. His duties will also include; announcing the speeches at the reception, as well as making one of his own;
The bridesmaids will then arrive at the church, this symbolising that the bride is on the way, and for any guests outside to make their way in to the church or ceremony venue. The bride will then arrive with her father who will escort her down the isle.
The wedding vows themselves have changed much over the years, reflecting the changing role of the woman in Christian society. Today the choices of vows are almost as wide and varied especially with a Civil Partnership or Civil Ceremon. They can be simple, or lengthy and detailed, they can take the form of a question from the priestfollowed by an vowed answer from the couple, or they can be made as individual statements - one for the bride and one for the groom, or they can be identical and spoken together; known as 'unison vows.' They can be made up on the spot; these are known as 'spontaneous vows,' or they can be written down before and memorized. Whatever feels right for the couple is right for the wedding, reflecting their characters and the sense of solemnity mixed with love and maybe, a bit of mischief thrown in for good measure.
When all formalities have been completed the new bride and groom will leave the church or civil ceremony venue followed by the bridesmaids and groomens who have paired up and guests thereafter
As confetti is now frowned on because of the mess, rice or flower petals are a more environmentally friendly alternative to meet the newly weds as they emerge, now joined in matrimony, into the great outdoors.
The posed wedding photos will be next at a location agreed by the photographer and couple before heading to the reception or wedding venue
If there is to be a reception then those invited will make their way now, it is down to the groomsmen make sure that everyone has transport available. At the reception a receiving line will be waiting, with the mother of the groom correctly standing between the bride and her mother, or if the two dads are also involved, then she should stand between them. Here she can introduce those guests from her side of the now extended family to the bride's family. This is her first and only official duty of the wedding.
The reception consists of a meal, either buffet style with self serving queues or a more formal sit down arrangement. The necessary but often dreaded speeches are next, followed by the cutting of the wedding cake, then some dancing and merriment along to the wedding bands
The bride and groom should always be the first to dance; after this, the groom should dance with both moms and then the bridesmaids, starting with the maid of honor / chief bridesmaid.
Sometime before the end of the night the bride will toss her spare boquet over the shoulder into a gaggle of ambitious females, whose dates may or may not be nervously awaiting the outcome. Seeing just who emerges triumphant as the holder of the bouquet is as much important for the males present as for the females.
The following day or a few days after the ceremony the couple will head off on their honeymoon together.
And then that's the wedding over, all the doubts and last minute fears forgotten
Here is a useful reminder to keep handy, for those future years of domestic bliss, what each anniversary is called and what your gifts from well wishers should therefore be made from.
Year 1 - Paper or Cotton
Year 2 - Cotton or Paper
Year 3 - Leather
Year4 - Flowers and Fruit
Year 5 - Wood
Year 6 - Sugar or Iron
Year 7 - Wool or Copper
Year 8 - Bronze
Year 9 - Pottery
Year 10 - Tin or Aluminum
Year 11 - Steel
Year 12 - Silk and Linen
Year 13 - Lace
Year 14 - Ivory
Year 15 - Crystal
Year 20 - China
Year 25 - Silver
Year 30 - Pearl
Year 35 - Coral
Year 40 - Ruby
Year45 - Sapphire
Year 50 - Gold
Year 55 - Emerald
Year 60 - Diamond
Year 70 - Platinum
Year 75 - Diamond
So although weddings can vary quite considerably, because of religion, culture, finance , family politics, time of year, and venue, there are still essentials common to all of a bride and groom, vows and rings, the Brides, being the centers of attention at any wedding, and their grooms, are principally the same but individually unique, and so then should be their wedding.
This is why regardless of culture and religion, weddings are really about us, as people, which then lead on to families and everything happening all over again
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