He's Moved Out For Good and Needs Time to Think
Author: Jonathan Parker
It feels like your heart has been ripped apart, like your very soul has been taken from you. He's left you. All you had together is gone. Over. Lost. It's become one of the darkest and most trying times of your life. He's left you. The swine! The rotten, horrible, swine that you love so well and so much. What must you not do to get him back? What can do you do during his thinking time? And how can you deal with the hurt yourself?
This article will briefly deal with these three questions in order to try and help you back on your feet again. Even though this article is written in the context of him leaving her, it still applies the other way round.
If you are in this situation, then I really do feel for you and empathise. It wasn't that long ago that I was in this position. It felt like my entire world had ended, that there was nothing to look forward to and that nothing mattered anymore. I am glad that just a few months on, I don't feel that way anymore.
At this stage, you are more than likely trying every trick in the book to win your partner back. I know I did, but the one thing I didn't do was beg. I couldn't lower myself to be in the position where another has it over me like that, my self respect hadn't been that lost.
Begging pushes them away, makes you look ridiculous and therefore not at all attractive to them. So that is my first piece of advice, you must not beg, and you are always worth far more than that. You really are.
Everyone goes through these early stages in different ways. There is no right or wrong answer to give, only that the pain will eventually subside and allow you to function again. Time is a healer and you alone can only find the path.
But for now, while he is "taking time to think" what can you do during this time? Often, it is too overwhelming to bear. Break it down. Break time down. For now, try and focus on getting through the next 5 minutes. Can you do that? Can you get through the next 5 minutes? Right, do it, then when that 5 minutes is up, ask yourself the same question again. Do it. Then as time progresses, ask yourself if you can get through the next ten minutes...and so on.
Just breaking everything down into small manageable pieces is a lot less daunting than whole picture, which is what you are probably focusing on at present. Focus on what you are doing now, in those 5 minutes, even if it's as simple as making a cup of coffee.
Once you are managing to get through this, start looking into yourself. Focus on making yourself strong, making yourself look attractive again and making yourself determined not to let this beat you. You were somebody before your relationship and you will damn well be somebody after it too. Get control of your life back.
You will get to this point. You will. The worst part often is being in limbo, the not knowing which way he is going - staying or going, staying or going. Now he has made the decision to go, then that is is the point where you can start taking control of your life again.
These are dark times for you. But look closely, can you see a small glimmer of light? It is there, it just needs to be found, and once you have found it, that is your goal - to get to it, because beyond leads to a new life, whether with him or not. You are your own person and you are brilliant. You hear that? You are brilliant.
Be positive and be strong. Your journey will be one of self discovery and enlightenment and you will come out of it a stronger and happier person, because you are positive and you are strong. Boy, you are going to find out how strong you really are in all this.
For now, you need to lick your wounds, you need to rest and become reconciled to yourself. This is where the strength will come.About the Author:
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