The Rare Instances When A Blended Family May Actually Be Incompatible

Share: Is it possible that a blended family is too incompatible and will never get along
? Sadly, the answer is yes. There are many families, some that have been blended for decades, which are never able to accept each other as a step family. Here are a few reasons why this may occur.
Remarriage Occurs After the Children are Past the Age of 21
If the children have already moved on and started a family of their own, it is possible that the step family will not "blend." This is perfectly acceptable, as long as the step mom or step dad is respected, even if for no other reason than that they are the spouse of the parent. However, this can make things difficult on grandkids down the road, as they won't comprehend why some grandparents aren't accepted equally. There is really nothing there can be done about that, nor is anyone to blame. Once the children are adults, by choosing to not accept a stepparent, they are limiting the love that can be given to them by that person, but it's their choice to make at that point.
The Parent didn't Keep His or Her Kids in Mind when Choosing Someone to Remarry
Once the divorce is final and the parents start dating once again, it's important that they realize they are not only searching for someone for them, but they are also seeking a step parent to their children. This can obviously add to the difficulty, but it is important to know if that new love interest is willing to get to know and care for their kids. Unless that person appears to understand what being part of a blended family entails, then choosing that person is only asking for trouble within your home.
The Parent Chooses to Treat their Step Kids Differently than their Own Kids
Some parents lose track of things and end up treating kids differently. Regardless of whether a child is a step kid or biological, they must be treated fairly and made to feel like an equal part of the step family. General rules for the home should be established, and they should be adhered to equally by everyone. If these guidelines are not lived up to, it should be the responsibility of the biological parent to set the consequences. Children and stepchildren must know that disrespect towards anyone will not be tolerated.
Certain Families just Can't Mesh
It is a sad thing to admit, but certain blended families are just never able to mesh with each other. Ultimately, the blame for this doesn't fall on the children, it lies with the parents. It is their duty to lay out the expectations for the newly created blended family. The children must be told up front that everyone in the house is loved and appreciated equally, and that they should treat everyone exactly as they desire to be treated. If the parents do not communicate this, kids will not understand the proper way to act, and constant bickering will seem like a normal activity in your stepfamily.
by: Shirley Cress Dudley
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