標題: Are You "the Other?"
victor





UID 1
精華 0
積分 0
帖子 2512655
閱讀權限 200
註冊 2009-6-14
發表於 2010-1-14 04:38  資料  短消息  加為好友 
Are You "the Other?"



Part One...



TIGER WOODS



In light of the recent Tiger Woods scandal, I began to think about infidelity from many perspectives. Keep in mind, even though some have more responsibility then others, everyone needs to take responsibility for their role in the affair.



LET'S GO DEEPER INTO THE "OTHER PERSON'S" PERSPECTIVE



Are you tempted to or are you having an affair with a married person? The very idea may be exciting and exhilaratingat first anyway. The married individual may seem intriguing to you for some obvious reasons and some not so obvious or hidden reasons. It might be helpful for you to think about what are the obvious and not so obvious reasons. This can be tricky at times to allow yourself to really see clearly. Be honest and truthful with yourself about why you're here in this situation. What is really in it for you? Being "the other one" is more common than most people realize. For many, having an affair is difficult to maintain and in the end it provides little stability. All sorts of feelings arise when you know you are the other, sometimes even shame. For others, the affair takes little time, energy and may even feel freeing because of the little demands put on them.



THE OTHER ONE RARELY COMES FIRST



Statistics show that the needs of the "other person" will rarely come first. Sometimes, the person in a committed relationship may find themselves bored or feeling stressed; therefore, for them it's easy to escape the day-to-day grind to be with someone who does not represent what is ordinary or whom they may not have any financial or emotional responsibilities for.



WHAT DOES AN AFFAIR CREATE IN OUR LIVES?



Many of us will get involved in relationships that directly reflect either our parent's relationships or those adults that were close to us as children. Ultimately, as we do our personal work, we mature to a place where we want more for ourselves. This would include a flourishing and growing relationship where we feel treasured, cared for and secure. However, the very premise of an affair creates a lack of safety and intimacy.



TRY THIS:



Seriously consider how much of yourself you want to give to a relationship that is mostly one-sided. When statistics tell us that most "other..." end up being alone once the affair ends, you may want to ask yourself the following questions:

1. Have your relationships been short term or have you ever had a long-term, committed relationship?

2. Have you ever lived with someone for a number of years or been in a committed relationship?

3. What was that like for you?

4. What were the issues between you and your partner?

5. Is this being the "other person" a pattern for you?

6. What feeling comes up around intimacy?

7. What's your fantasy outcome about this relationship?

8. Would you want to marry this person?

9. How is the power dynamic between you?

10. Is there a power imbalance and/or an age difference?

11. Are you in completely different stages of your lives? You might want to think about if this is this something you want to continue indefinitely.



Please be kind to yourself as you think about the situation.





Copyright (c) 2010 Jennifer Howard PhD

by: Jennifer Howard PhD

About the Author:

Visit the site to read more FREE articles, blogs and enjoy the FREE meditation room www.DrJenniferHoward.com

Article source: http://www.articlesnatch.com/Article/Are-You--the-Other--/911531

 引用 回復 頂部
 

查看積分策略說明快速回復主題
 選項 標題 Smilies
禁用 URL 識別
禁用 Smilies
禁用 Discuz!代碼
使用匿名發帖
使用個人簽名
接收新回復郵件通知
內容





當前時區 GMT+8, 現在時間是 2018-12-10 20:23

    本论坛支付平台由支付宝提供
携手打造安全诚信的交易社区 Powered by Discuz! 5.5.0  © 2001-2007 Comsenz Inc. php version: 7.2.12 , php-fpm with MYSQL8
Processed in 0.161364 second(s), 6 queries , Gzip enabled

清除 Cookies - 聯繫我們 - Insurances.net - Archiver - WAP