Your Children Do Feel Your Stress
The state of the economy can affect young children
, just as it does to many adults. While children do not understand the news or the changes at home, they do pick-up on the stress their parents are feeling. For this reason, it is important to talk to your children about stress and what is causing it. Deciding how and when to tell your children about household cut-backs, a job loss or a possible move is not easy.Young children do not understand and do not benefit from conversations that are overly detailed or that speculate about what might or could happen, such as possible job loss or a potential move. They do profit from simple, clear words and concrete information to explain what is happening in their lives, said Dr. Alison Steier, an infant mental health psychologist at Southwest Human Development.
Research shows that steady, responsive, sensitive parent-child relationships can buffer children from the effects of excessive stress and can promote childrens own sense of competence and effectiveness. According to Dr. Steier, Young children organize their experience around their relationships with parents and other trusted adults and are quite attuned to the feelings of these individuals. They look to these adults in order to draw conclusions about whether they are safe or need to be worried or fearful. They operate according to the principle, Im OK if youre OK.
Signs that children are struggling with excessive stress:
Changes in eating and/or sleeping patterns.
Increased clinginess, whining or attention-seeking behaviors.
Regression or a return to behavior characteristic of a younger child like calling for a parent in the night, toilet accidents, thumb sucking or asking for a bottle.
Increased fear of separation.
Increased aggression, irritability, fussiness and frustration.
Decreased cooperativeness.
Withdrawal or subdued mood.
What can parents do to help? These suggestions may be helpful:
Take care of yourself. This is not a luxury; parents must take care of themselves in order to help their children. Exercise, getting enough sleep, and reaching out to your own support circle are all good examples.
Use words to label childrens feelings. It helps them feel more organized and your empathy can help them settle down.
Maintain everyday routines as much as possible. Some sense of predictability, even in the midst of great change, helps everyone retain a feeling of security. Bathing, meals, playtime and even homework are the life activities that communicate to children that some things dont change.
Let people like child care providers and teachers know that your family is going through difficult times and they may see changes in your childs behavior. Sharing strategies you use at home to help your child may be appropriate.
Parents, or professionals, with questions about whether their child is experiencing stress, or any other child development question, can call our free Birth to Five Helpline (1-877-705 KIDS) and speak with a child development specialist.
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