When You Met Someone: How to Inform Your Child about It
When You Met Someone: How to Inform Your Child about It
How do you exactly tell a child that you met somebody else and you could be falling in love with her? It's not that easy. Children can get all too confused why you feel that way. Moreover, as long as your kid doesn't approve or understand the situation, you cannot expect to have a smooth-sailing relationship with someone other than their mom.
Be honest about it.
Contrary to popular belief, children find it easy to understand what is happening. They are very observant. If they see you with the woman all too often, it would not be long before they ask if you like her.
There's no other way to it but to tell the truth. Be frank and tell them how you feel. You can tell them that you've found someone who's kind to you and perhaps to your kids too.
Introduce them to her.
Be careful about this one, though. Always ask permission before you do so. You don't want to surprise your children. Furthermore, you can expect the meeting to become more pleasant if your children will be open to it. As long as they are not ready, skip the introductions.
Get her feedback.
When you really want to pursue a relationship with her, there's nothing else your kids can do. However, as a responsible parent, you need to hear what they are going to say. One of the foremost reasons why they are apprehensive with her presence is their insecurity. Perhaps they have become used to your attention. With her around, you may no longer have enough time for them.
This also means you need to give them an assurance, and make sure such assurance is true. Don't make false promises. You will just continue upsetting or disappointing the kids.
Use subliminal messages.
You can also utilize subliminal messages to make the explanations much easier. For example, the subliminal messages may be in the form of a story, where a lonely king finds a beautiful princess to be his new wife. The king's children became happy because someone is going to take care of them.
You can also use subliminal messages to yourself, especially if the nerves get better hold of you, and you cannot say the truth.
Don't vanish from their lives.
Make it a point to be there for them even when you already have someone new in your life. If you're going out on a date, make sure your phone is turned on, so they can always contact you. Don't break traditions. If your son is used to having your around during his football game, you should always be therealone. This way, you can make your kids feel her presence is not a threat in their lives and in your relationship.
Talk to them about her.
It will lessen the shock and surprise if they already have a good idea about the personality of the woman. You don't have to tell them all the details. Just make short introductions or tidbits of information, enough to pique their curiosity and motivate them to definitely meet and get to know her better.
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