The Five Gifts Your Child Most Wants This Holiday Season!
You know giving your child presents and material possessions for the holidays are
not the most important things you can do for your child this holiday season. And with the current economic challenges, you may not feel you have the usual amount of extra cash to spend on gifts that you have in the past.Another GI Joe action figure, the latest and greatest Barbie or the "in" pair of designer jeans won't really make a significant impact in your child's life, either this year or all the years to come. It feels good in the moment, and it's not an investment in your child's future.
Yet if you're like many parents, you and your child are already planning and talking about those special toys and gifts she wants this holiday season. You may even have some of them already purchased and stashed away somewhere hoping she won't find them.
We all love giving our children gifts. Not so much because you value the gift itself, but because you love seeing the delight in your child's eyes. Their excitement at having received what they want.
But if you think about it for just a moment, you've also noticed that often the glitter of these longed-for gifts fades quickly; and they sit unused on the shelf. Or worse, they lie in the middle of the floor where you have to keep reminding your child to put them away.
So how can you make this a holiday season where the sparkle in your child's eyes comes from his heart, and not just a quick, superficial flash that lasts a few days?
Imagine that you could give your child gifts that would last a lifetime and that would bring a smile to her face now and in the future. Think how happy that would make you. It's every parent's dream.
Here are five essential gifts you can give your child this year that are guaranteed to bring joy to his eyes during this holiday season and throughout the year ahead.
1. Feeling safe
Your child feels safe when she knows she can count on you to be there for her and to be consistent in your words and actions. She knows what to expect from you and can trust you to manage and be responsible for your own emotional reactions without acting in ways that are emotionally and physically hurtful.
She also knows that your feelings, words and actions are congruent. In other words, you don't say one thing and do something else. You don't pretend to be feeling something you're not by wearing a smile on your face while you struggle emotionally with sadness, anger, or worry.
You care about her emotional well-being and take action accordingly.
2. Unconditional love and acceptance
Unconditional love and acceptance means you look for the good in your child and know that it's there even when his behavior seems to indicate disrespect and defiance. You love and accept all of him, things that are easy to love and the things that challenge you. (This doesn't mean you let him walk all over you, but that's a topic for another article.)
When your child feels deeply loved and appreciated, he soars to great heights and enjoys a life of fullness and joyous self-expression. Your unconditional love means far more than any gift you can purchase to 'show' him how much you love him. When you live it, he feels it and it goes right to his heart.
One of the best ways to express your unconditional love is to spend time with him, doing things that you both enjoy and that perhaps allows you to experience a part of his world you have not tried before. When you share loving, joyous time together, you create memories that nurture your hearts forever.
3. Self-confidence
Self-confidence comes along with self-love and self-trusting. She likes herself and possesses a peaceful, strong certainty that takes her through life's up's and down's. One of the most important ways you can nurture self-confidence in your child is to trust her and to feel and act confidently about her choices and actions.
Without self-confidence and trust in herself, your child will hesitate to put herself out there and to take the essential risks that life demands. Self-confidence meanss she makes her own well-being a priority and has the courage to act on it.
4. Ability to think for himself and to make wise choices
Self-reliance goes hand-in-hand with self-confidence. When you trust your child to reason things out for himself and to make his own choices, he gains essential life skills to make wise choices. When he's not allowed to fully develop his choice-making muscles, he feels insecure and acts hesitantly. He also becomes dependent on you to do his thinking for him.
Find ways to let your child make real choices for himself, even when he makes choices that are difficult for you to watch. This is a necessary part of his growth and development as a person.
5. Inspiration to greatness and delight in life
This is about self-motivation and an inner urge to achieve one's goals and desires in life. We all possess this natural desire and drive. Yet parents and educators unknowingly and unintentionally say and do things that limit and suppress this natural drive to greatness and joy in children.
It is a huge price to pay to watch your child be unmotivated to make smart choices for her own welfare. An important way to give this to your child is by giving it to yourself. Let yourself be inspired to take action for your own greatness and delight in living.
So that's my list for this year, the essential gifts that are an investment in your child's future.
Of course, you want to give some thoughtful, meaningful gifts to your child. That's part of the fun. But most children want fewer presents than they receive. Choose a few gifts that are perfect for your child now.
Most of all, remember to invest in these 5 important gifts this holiday season. When you invest in long-term heart-centered joy and authentic connection, you'll discover how profoundly magical and loving the holidays can be, this year and every year.
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