The Effects of Divorce On Children
When a marriage ends, it can be traumatizing for all involved
. Of course it has a great effect on the husband and wife, but the children in the marriage will be affected as well. And, even though the emotional effects on both partners can be difficult, it's nothing compared to the effects that it will have on your child.To children the home is a place where they can always return to for safety. This is especially true for smaller children. It represents security. He knows that no matter what difficulties he is having at school, in the playgrounds, in the streets, and so on - he always has a comforting place to come back to where his parents will protect and care for him.
Then suddenly, out of the blue, he discovers that the two adults who he has counted on being there for all of his life, are breaking up. It can be devastating. And there's nothing that he can do about it. Children feel powerless much of the time anyway, and this just adds to his sense of powerlessness, depression, and despair .
A huge reason for much of the sense of helplessness that the child feels is due to the fact the she has not had time to emotionally prepare for the breakup because she didn't see it coming. After all, the adults have probably talked about this for months and even then, as adults, are still grappling with their emotions. Just think of what this will do to a child without their years of maturity. So one of the things that every parent can do, when thinking about divorce, is to avoid springing it on their children as a surprise.
Once you and your partner have definitely made the decision that you are going to divorce or separate, sit down and talk to your child. Make sure to ease your child into accepting the decision, and make sure that both of you are there for him to talk during the transition.
Every child is different. And no one knows for sure exactly how a child will react when he finds out his parents are getting divorced. Some children will begin to wet the bed, a sure sign of anxiety and insecurity. Some will become angry and act out their frustrations and anger with temper tantrums. Others will withdraw into a shell in an attempt to shut off their feelings and protect themselves from being emotionally hurt.
If you can afford it, one of the first things that you should do, once you have decided to go through with the divorce, is to make an appointment with a divorce counselor. As a matter of fact, you should make this appointment before you even let your child know. She will very well give you many good suggestions as to how to break the news to your child and can also help you to understand what changes you can expect in your child. Seeing a therapist, may be good for you, but ultimately it's just another thing that you do in an attempt to ensure that, however the divorce turns out, your child will be emotionally protected.
How the parents collectively handle the divorce proceedings are critical in determining how your child is able to handle emotional relationships as he grows older. If both partners handle it responsibly, the odds are the child will have no ill emotional effects from the divorce. But if the adults handle it badly, their child could very well become emotionally damaged for the rest of their lives.
The Effects of Divorce On Children
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