Piranha 3d Film Review Online
Piranha 3D could easily have been titled Piranha DDD
. This movie sets a new standard for amount and size of braless college breasts shown in a shock-fest type of film. Merge this with tons of watery blood and gore and you have a cant miss movie aimed at teens and twenty-somethings.It is refreshing to see a movie that delivers exactly what it promises .. tons of nudity, alcohol, drunken hedonistic college students being eaten alive by razor toothed fish, lake party massacres and general mayhem. This film is meant to be a guilty pleasure, and if you treat it as such then you will enjoy what you see.
2 parallel stories converge on the quiet town of Lake Victoria. In one the town is about to be overrun by a herd of hormone raging college students on spring break. The other story is about an Internet soft-porn king and his crew coming to town to recruit some of the scantily clad female co-eds to appear in his latest Girls Gone Wild type of video.
Unbeknownst to both groups is that a recent earthquake in Lake Victoria has unleashed a long-thought extinct species of giant killer piranha into the waters. According to a local scientist with frizzy hair (played by the great Christopher Lloyd) these piranhas were somehow able to survive millions of years in an underwater lake, just waiting for a time when an earthquake would free them and they could once again eat college co-ed human flesh!
Hey, this could happen, right?
As students begin to be devoured and their remains wash up on shore, the town sheriff (played by Elisabeth Shue) tries to figure out what is going on. Aided by her deputy (Ving Rhames) they come to the conclusion that killer fish are eating up everybody. As in another rather famous man-eating fish movie (JAWS), the sheriff wants to close down the lake but is thwarted by the revenue hungry powers that be.
Jerry OConnell plays Internet soft-porn king Derrick Jones, who is obviously patterned after Ron Francis of Girls Gone Wild fame. Jones is in town to videotape girls for his series Wild Wild Girls. OConnell plays this role so over the top that he is hilarious. He is supposed to be an unsympathetic figure, but I found him to be the most interesting character in the movie that wasnt a fish. He is only in town to find fresh meat for his video series, and he doesnt care what he has to do to get it.
The rest of the movie is just an excuse to show half naked young adults being stripped and eaten alive by these prehistoric fish. But what fun it is. There are some very imaginative ways that these co-eds meet their demise. And every ending is drenched in blood. The piranhas cut people in half, decapitate, chew off limbs and spit out parts they dont like.
The centerpiece of the movie is like nothing you have seen before. It is a massacre at a wet t-shirt contest, and renowned horror director Alexandre Aja does a masterful job of making this sequence as gruesome and horrifying as possible. Flesh is stripped off skeletal frames in seconds, and every imaginable body part is seen floating in the water. There is even a shot of one unfortunate guys severed manhood floating in the water. Now that is just plain mean.
This gore-fest has a surprising number of well-known and respected actors participating in the movie. Elisabeth Shue, Jerry OConnell, Ving Rhames, Richard Dreyfuss and Christopher Lloyd all appear in some capacity. Richard Dreyfuss in particular has a great scene which begins the entire movie. Fans of JAWS will recognize and appreciate it.
Piranha 3D is a highly entertaining movie. If you are looking for ridiculous escapist fun with an absurd storyline, loads of blood, floating appendages and college kids being torn apart, then this is the movie for you.
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