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Parents And Teachers - Bridging The Disconnect

As a parent, you tend to have a very different approach to your child's education than his teacher has

. Your primary focus will be on what kind of knowledge your kid picks up at school - the teacher is more interested in the manner in which that knowledge is acquired.

This is often a major source of parent teacher disconnect, but it is important to understand that the process is as important as the product - if not more so. After all, it is the process that decides how long and how usefully your child retains the knowledge. If you occasionally find yourself thinking that your child's teacher could be helping your child learn faster, remember this vital fact.

Another lacuna in the parent teacher relationship can be the parent's and the teacher's perception of how the child's education is progressing at school. As a parent, you may tend to trust your child's feedback on this more than his teacher's. Not surprising, there is a definite and understandable personal bias involved - a bias that has a lot to do with our perceptions of ourselves.

If we care to remember that we see our children as extensions of ourselves, it is pretty obvious that we will not judge our kids too harshly. A teacher offers the advantage of an objective perspective even in the presence of a high degree of personal concern and involvement.

A very essential element of a healthy parent teacher relationship is trust. We must learn to believe that our child's teachers:

"Are good at their jobs

"Have the benefit of special training in imparting knowledge

"Are personally concerned about and involved with our kids

"Have the same goals we do - your child's overall development

This is not to say that teachers should not be held accountable for what they do. It simply means that, far from being necessary adversaries in your child's upbringing, they are in fact partners in it - and they bring some very real value to the process.

So, what are the details you should feel free to ask your child's teacher for?

"Contact details, if these have not been supplied to begin with

"The school syllabus for the year, and the degree of difficulty involved

"Your child's performance in academics and extra-curricular activities

"Advice on how you can aid the learning process from home

Avoid quizzing the teacher about his or her teaching methods. With some variations dictated by experience and personality, these are generally standardized in the training process. As an expert in your own vocational field, you would not appreciate your methods being questioned by a layperson, either.

If you genuinely feel that the teacher is doing something wrong, remember that teachers deal with a multitude of children, and that your parental perception does not necessarily represent a consensus. Ask the parents of other children in your child's class if they have made similar observations before taking it further.

If you perceive a problem with your child's teacher, the correct protocol is to approach the teacher first - not the principal or school administrator. While stating the problem, whether in person, on the phone, or via email, maintain a civil and friendly tone. There may be genuine challenges involved, and these may not necessarily involve only the teacher or the school.

by: Priya Florence Shah
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