Parenting During A Divorce - Being A Hero In Your Kid's Story
If you are the parent of a young child, you have probably listened to more children's music than you care to admit
. The simplistic, often overly repetitive nature of the sound can stick in your head. Trying to avoid catching the tunes is futile. They will find you. They will infect you. And just as soon as you begin to recover from one jingle, another will strike without warning.
Every once in a while, as I go to Court to represent a divorce client, I find myself humming one of these songs. A few minutes after I begin, I usually find myself thinking about the words in the music. I think about the meaning of the song I am humming and whether it sends an appropriate message to my children. Sometimes, I am aghast at what I discover. Other times, I am impressed by the depth of the simple message.
The song "Hero" by the children's group, The Okee Dokee Brothers, is one of those songs that makes me proud to be a listener of children's music. And, as a divorce attorney, it's a song that I wish my clients (and divorcing parents everywhere) could hear. The music may be more to your child's liking, but the message will leave you inspired.
As the title suggests, the song is about heroes - the kind of make-believe heroes found in movies or stories. The heroes we all grew-up wanting to be but never could quite actualize. Your kids will recognize some of the names (Peter Pan, Superman, and Robin Hood) and you will recognize the rest (Yoda, Frodo, and James Bond). The song explains that even though we can't fly through the air like Superman or use the Force like Luke Skywalker, we do have the power to be a hero in our kid's story. All we have to do is show-up, listen, and care. That's it. No other magical powers required.
The stress of divorce can sometimes leave parents feeling isolated from their children. It doesn't matter if you are a dad who loses custody of a child or a mom who has to exchange her kids three days a week. Divorce means separation. Separation means loss. And loss can cause pain.
But, separation and loss do not mean that you can't be a hero in your kid's story. You can. Whether you choose to do so depends on how you spend your time with your kids. As we know from the stories, superheroes discover their superpowers in unusual ways. For some parents, their superpowers can remain hidden for a long time, only to be discovered when they begin parenting alone.
Make the choice to be a superhero in your kid's story. They deserve it!
by: Robert Gadtke
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