Nevertheless, patients with progressive cancer commonly lose their appetite
, and families often feel helpless when this occurs. Many families equate preparing and offering food with providing love. Some view their central role or job as providing food and feeding the patient; when the patient won't eat, they feel like failures. Families in this situation should not be discouraged: they are witnessing an unavoidable but natural part of the disease process. Patients with advanced cancer usually don't want to eat and may try to do so simply to make their families feel better. Most experts concur, however, that dehydration and missed meals are not particularly uncomfortable for a very ill person with cancer. Forcing the person to eat or drink may not help him and can make a very ill patient feel guilty and even more uncomfortable. Although it may be difficult to witness the progressive loss of appetite in a loved one, it is unkind to pressure someone to eat when he is unable to do so. Families must try to find more direct, verbal ways to show that they care. This is one of many challenges that face all caregivers of gravely ill loved ones.