Is A Teen In Your Life Troubled?
Seeing a teen in trouble, no matter what your relationship to them
, can be scary. Whether you are a parent, teacher, friend, pastor, or have some other association, you can feel confused--even trapped. It is even worse when you know there are problems arising, but you can't see the whole picture.This often occurs when parents or friends suspect a teen might be abusing alcohol or using illegal substances, but they have a hard time finding out for sure. Snooping or interrogating frequently just push the adolescent further away from those people s/he should be able to trust most.
This is a tough situation for anyone to find themselves in. But there are a few general pieces of advice you can stick to in order to both assess and better the circumstances, though you should certainly remember that there can be a point for many troubled youth where they really need help.
First, try to get a bird's eye view of what is happening in the many arenas in your teen's life. How are their grades? What is their home life like? Who are they spending the most time with? Try to get a comprehensive perspective on issues like these instead of making judgments on the only aspects you see.
For example, a big concern in our society is drug abuse and addiction among teens. But if s/he is still maintaining high grades, this may be an unlikely possibility. While there are "functioning addicts" among us, these are usually adults who have been gradually developing an addiction over a number of years.
You still may not want to rule it out as a possibility, but on the other hand, poor grades are not an automatic indicator of substance abuse. Remember that problems in the home are often to blame for a young person to act out.
Divorce and abuse are leading causes for young adults to participate in behaviors like staying out late, smoking, drinking, and using drugs, among others (like defying authority figures, displaying recklessness, and more).
Allow your teen to open up to you and discuss these problems. Be trustworthy, and take action when it is necessary. This may require some intense bravery on your part, particularly if you need to report a potentially abusive parent to the police. But be prepared to do what is necessary.
Sometimes teenagers just need to experiment, find new friends, and push the limits in order to discover who they are. If you are able, try to give them a healthy outlet for these desires.
Many teens that are seen as "troubled" outgrow the problems they seem to have in these delicate years. Above all, try to be patient and never turn your back on them.
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