How to Write a Killer Email and Get Dates Online
How to Write a Killer Email and Get Dates Online
When I was online, I remember how it felt. I'd send an endless number of emails that seemed to go into the pit of Internet rejection hell.
The truth is, there is a lot of competition out thereespecially if you're a womandatingover 40. Move into your 50s and 60s, and the competition gets downright fierce.
Having a fantastic profile is a must, but coupling that with the art of writing emails sets you up to be a surefire winner in the game of I-love.
The vast majority of emails sent by women go something like this:
Subject line: I like your profile
Hi, Bob. I like your profile, and it looks like we have a lot in common. I also love to travel and read mystery novels. Check out my profile, and if you're interested, get in touch.
Susie
If Susie's email is landing in the inbox of a relatively handsome, kind and interesting 50- or 60-something man, chances are Susie isn't getting a date. She's probably not even getting the darned thing read.
A killer email attracts, entices and begs to be opened. It makes him pick yours before Susie's. It makes him smile and feel light. It piques his interest and tells him there's more good stuff to learn. It makes him want to come back for more.
Here's my formula for writing emails when you'redating online. There is a certain finesse to writing these, but with some practice you can master the craft. (I write these for my coaching clients all the time. After a while, they all get it. Practice makes perfect!)
1. A spectacular subject is key. Make it enticing, intriguing, flirty and personal. You can even get a bit provocative, but don't overdo that or you may send an I-want-sex-and-you-can-count-on-it signal.
2. Show kindness and thank him for connecting (if he emails you first).
3. Include:
* A sincere compliment
* "Nuggets" about yourself
* Something specific and special that impresses you
* A clear show of interest (but nothing too forward)
* A question that's easy for him to answer
4. Be positive and light. (Humor is always good!)
5. Show confidence.
This doesn't mean you send an email a mile long. The finesse comes by combining these to make a short, sweet contact with all kinds of yummy stuff in it.
Here's an example:
Subject Line: Intellectual, Creative and a Travel Bug I'm In!
Hi Fred,
I know about a lot of things, but a physicist I'm not. I've always found it fascinating and would enjoylearning more about the where's and why's of how matter and energy interact. (I admitI looked that up.)
Like you, a beautiful and peaceful environment is important to me, and I've created that for myself and my guests in my home. What you're doing in your yard sounds so fun! I'm in great physical condition and would be glad to help you dig your pond.
In two weeks I'm going to Prague and on a river boat cruise. How about you? Are you planning any trips in the future?
I look forward to hearing back from you. Enjoy the beautiful day.
Karen
Now let me break this down:
Subject Line: Intellect,Creativity and a Travel Bug I'm In! [personal, complimentary, and light]
I know about a lot of things [nugget - tells him you're smart and proud of it], but a physicist I'm not [you're smart yet humble and not interested in competing with him]. I've always found it fascinating [compliment] and would enjoylearning more about the where's and why's of how matter and energy interact. [Men love the thought of teaching us stuff.] (I admitI looked that up.) [humor, and shows an effort to learn about his interests.]
Like you, a beautiful and peaceful environment is important to me, and I've created that for myself and my guests in my home. [Shows compatibility, tells him you have a lovely home and that you welcome guests.] What you're doing in your yard sounds so fun! I'm in great physical condition [nugget] and would be glad to help you dig your pond! [Light and fun.]
In two weeks I'm going to Prague and on a river boat cruise. [nugget and compatibility] Are you planning any trips in the future? [Easy question to answer that makes for a no-brainer response.]
I look forward to hearing back from you. [Confidence. None of that "hope to hear from you" stuff. But you're not asking him out, either.] Enjoy the beautiful day. [Upbeat, positive sign off.]
Karen
One more thing: I believe indating karma. When a man emails you and you're not interested, don't just hit Delete. He has taken time and bravely reached out. Write him back, say thank you and wish him the best of luck in his search.
Between these killer emails and the chits you're putting in your karma bank, you'll see a positive difference in your online dating experience in no time.
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