How to Make Your Marriage Better after Cheating
How to Make Your Marriage Better after Cheating
Marriage after cheating is no easy task for the average couple. It takes a lot of careful maneuvering to work through the mine field that marriage can leave behind.
The problem is that even if you decide to work things out between the two of you, marriage leaves behind a lot of unresolved issues on both sides of the affair. It doesn't matter if you were the one who cheated or the person cheated on, there are issues in the marriage that need to be addressed.
So, how do you clear out these mine fields so you can make your marriage better after cheating?
Resolve Old Issues
It's time to clean out all the skeletons in your marital closet. Dig them up, pick the bones clean, and then bury them once and for all. Be sure you get what is needed out of the ordeal and that you can leaves these bones behind you for good.
The problem with old issues is that they are like bad pennies. They keep turning up when you least expect them and prevent you from getting closure or having productive arguments and/or discussions in the future.
They cloud every disagreement until they are resolved. This means that you cannot possibly have your best possible marriage until you put these unresolved issues in their final and I do mean final resting places.
Establish Boundaries for Personal Space
Even married couples who share a life together need to have personal boundaries. You should not have to give up all sense of self when you enter into a marriage. You are becoming part of something more and bigger than being an individual but you didn't stop being a person the minute you became lawfully wedded.
Guard your personal space but understand there is a huge difference between being private and being secretive. You may need to give up some of that private space if you were the one who cheated but it should only be for a little while.
Eventually you will need to make an effort to regain that personal space but always make sure that your partner understands what is going on so that new fears of infidelity do not arise as a result.
Learn to make Arguments Productive
Disagreements are part of marriage. We are only human and are two individuals with differing views on the world. No matter how similar your goals and opinions may be there are likely to be times when you disagree on the method.
You must learn to argue and fight fair if you want to accomplish anything in your marriage. If communications completely break down every time there is a disagreement then your marriage is going to have a hard time moving forward.
How do you do this?
Stop fighting to win the argument.
Keep the argument on subject.
One person talks at a timeeven if you need to get out a sand timer.
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