How To Cope With Unwanted Christmas Gifts
Money in Christmas cards is underrated. In fact, after years of countless flops, it's downright thoughtful. The problem is money gifts have been tarnished by the lazy brush, probably by the same meddlers with the gift-buying flair of a clumsy elephant. Unfortunately there's no way to stop these bombs from falling, but there are ways to shield yourself from the blast. Here's how...
Clothes
This could be all kinds of garb from garish neck scarves to a chunky knit jumper. The worst part is you know it's coming because your poor old Nan (bless her) is not the fashion guru she once was and the present has those tell-tale squidgy signs that scream clothing item. For damage control the first words out of your mouth should be you love it and it's perfect for wearing on Boxing Day/New Year's Day...basically any day when your dear Nan has gone home. Then chuck it.
Home Ornament
Miniature owls made out of broomhead bristles, hedgehogs playing the recorder, you name it and it's out there. And if you don't break the cycle early on you'll be finding homes for them all over your house. Young children and dogs are your perfect weapon here, just put your new ornament somewhere precarious then let them loose. Just don't ham up your acting too much; you might wind up with a replacement.
Board Games
As if we don't have enough traditional party games to contend with on Christmas Day, there's always one who brings a new board game around. And then they make the assumption that you're all going to play it. The only course of action is to down your drink, get your game face on and destroy them. I'm talking total annihilation and ridicule so they'll never want to play again. Ever.
CDs
Why people feel the need to share their music tastes or worse try and predict yours is a tedious routine at Christmas time. You could give them the benefit of the doubt but to save yourself the disappointment try scratching the disc on the way to the stereo. Not only will you sidestep 40 minutes of drivel, you might even get given the receipt, allowing you to make an exchange after Christmas - win!
Holiday Trinkets
Anyone with friends and family members who go on holiday in the run up to Christmas should lower their Christmas gift expectations dramatically. This bunch of relatives will have stocked up on all kinds of exotic tat. From cheap wine and foreign sweets that taste like death to more dodgy ornaments for your home (great). To even the score get all their gifts from an Esso garage.
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