When I was just twenty-one years old my first "real job" was as a Probation Officer working with dependent, neglected and delinquent children
. I rapidly encountered a wide variety of behavior issues.
I discovered the best ways to manage children to get their best behavior.
Before I can show you some techniques that worked for me you must understand two things:
1. To change your child you must be able to change your own actions and responses.
2. You'll need to learn the principles of how to be an effective parent.
To understand you own parenting style and how it impacts your child's behavior you'll need to take a Parenting Styles Assessment (free of charge at http://www.ParentalQuiz.com )
Basic Principles For Parent Effectiveness
1. Teach a child principles of good character like honesty, industry, kindness, initiative and self-responsibility. Every time your child misbehaves is a "teachable moment".
The ultimate success of your child as an adult depends on your understanding of this critical principle of good parenting.
Think about this. If you recall the old Leave It To Beaver show with June Cleaver and Beaver Cleaver you may also recall Eddie Haskell.
While the Cleavers were raising an honest and forthright child, The Beaver, Eddie's parents were raising a smarmy hypocrite.
You children model their behavior on your behavior. When you blame others for things that you were accountable for they see that as a nifty coping mechanism they can adopt to avoid getting blamed.
You will see your child begin to accept responsibility for their own actions when you are willing to admit your mistakes and to accept responsibility for everything under your control.
Consistently Use Consequences and Rewards To Direct Your Child's Behavior.
I've seen parents who back off of enforcing consequences when their child misbehaves. They may listen to a bunch of excuses or they bend under the charm of a smile and an apology.
The result is that they are teaching their child that they can get away with all kinds of bad behavior by manipulating people.
You'll find it much easier to enforce consequences for misbehavior if you set up a list of consequences and enforce them consistently.