Don't Forget Your Map When Traveling Life's Highways: An Evening With Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski
Don't Forget Your Map When Traveling Life's Highways: An Evening With Rabbi Dr
. Abraham TwerskiA hush came over the audience.
Not so much as a peep froman estimated five hundred listeners who had assembled in the auditorium of Niles West High School in Skokie, Illinois to listen carefully to the words of Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski, M.D.
It happened at the beginning of his talk entitled "Attaining Happiness" when he spoke so lovingly of his father. I mean you could have heard a pin drop.
You may already know this, but it has been my experience that when a Jewish man speaks of his father, it is usually, perhaps even in the majority of cases, done with such fealty, love and devotion that you leave with an enhanced understanding of the mitzvah of "kibud av", honoring thy father.
And so it was when Rabbi Twerski related the story of his father who exhorted his young son to grow up and be(come) a mensch, naturally.
A handsome man of slight stature, a really great white beard, and eyes which have seen quite a lot, Rabbi Twerski has one of those special faces that invite us in with a pleasant mien and whose years reassure us we've come to the right man.
If there was one primary lesson with which one mighthave returned home last Wednesday night, March 2, 2011, I'd like to suggest the following: that each one of us should strive to embody true Torah values in our lives.
That is, however, only one half of the equation. What little I remember about equations is this: they must balance on both sides of the "equal sign" as must our lives.
Therefore, it simply isn't enough that we embody Torah values. Torah is not my private posession, my little secret nor yours. If left unshared with unhappy and needy others, then what good are those Torah values? Why haven't we learned and implemented this lesson long ago?
That is a good way, a Torah true way, I think, to bring more smiles, less misery and more happiness into the world.
What's even better about it is this: it's within everyone's reach. So, even if you have short arms, you might not make such a good boxer, but learn and share Torah with others? That, my friends, we can all do. I assure you. Because Torah lifts us.
As a matter of fact, Jewish tradition holds that the carriers of the ancient Ark had a pretty easy job. They grasped the staves which were always in place, allowing The Ark to remain in a state of constant readiness, but it was The Ark that lifted them! Inside the Ark? Yes, of course the first and second sets of The Ten Commandments.
Every story, unlike the Ribono Shel Olam (The Master of The Universe), has its beginning and end, but as I am only concerned with beginnings right now, I'd like to amend that somewhat to read: "Every story begins with a back story," including the one you happen to be reading.
"The Back Story"
This past Wednesday, March 2, 2011 I suffered a bad case of the "shpilkes" (literally: Yiddish for "needles"; a variant, I suppose, of the English "ants in your pants".
That evening Rabbi Twerski was scheduled to speak at 7:30 pm in the auditorium at Niles West, and I very much wanted to cover the story.
So around 5 o'clock, I headed over to Congregation Or Torah in Skokie for "Mincha", the afternoon prayer service. I attend services there during the week in the winter because it is, to the best of my knowledge, the only active Mincha minyan around the neighborhood. In addition, I had spoken to Rabbi Twerski on the phone earlier in the week when we worked out a format for my first piece "Conversation with Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski" so I knew when his flight into Chicago was due in.
"I 'betcha' he'll show up," I thought to myself. It was really a "no-brainer" for two reasons: 1) like I said before, the Mincha minyan at Or Torah is the only one around this part of Skokie, and 2) since Rabbi Twerski was speaking at 7:30, he had to stay pretty close by.
And don't you know it, no sooner had I put the car in park thatI spotted him being driven to the synagogue, a distinguished looking elderly gentleman. "Just as I had thought," patting myself on the back.
"Inside the Bais Medrash: (Hebrew: House of Study)"
"Well go on. Talk to him. He'll remember you from the phone calls. You've got a mouth, right? So?"
"Ah, excuse me sir, Rabbi Twerski?"
He turned, inclining his head a bit forward that I should speak up a bit. "Rabbi, I am Alan Busch," extending my hand. "Yes, of course," extending his. And after exchanging a few niceties, you know the stuff you say in place of saying something really dumb, I took my seat.
"Will see you later this evening?" Rabbi Twerski said with a slight smile on the way out after services were concluded. How do you like that? From Rabbi Twerski to me, I felt like such a little kid.
The Jewish mentality is a strange one indeed. Within this world we venerate not only the man dressed in a black kapote and flat top black felt fedora, but even more so his Torah and the great gift that teachers like Rabbi Twerski selflessly share with the world.
For us, it's not so much what's on the head but what's in it; not so much one's garment as his heart, the seat of compassion.
"Later that evening at Niles West High School Auditorium"
If you've ever looked closely at a finely woven suit, you may see a special thread of outstanding color that draws your eye to it as an iron filing to a magnet.
The outstanding thread of Rabbi Twerski's talk was that we must all strive to become as fully human as we can, cautioning us to be weary of excessive and unhealthy pursuits of pleasure that lead us NOT to happiness but calamity.
"Now I do not to mean to suggest," Rabbi Twerski cautioned several times, "that pleasure is either bad or forbidden. Let's be clear on that." And, as with so many of life's innumerable pedagogic moments, the question arises: "Why (not)?"
Why must we strive toward self-improvement? Why is it not acceptable to be a couch hugging, potato chip munching vacuum cleaner? (my characterization, not Rabbi Twerski's though I don't know he would be so averse to its use).
Because, as it happens, we have work that needs to be done not only as Jews but simply as human beings. It just makes sense, does it not, that a Jew cannot be a good Jew if he is a lousy human being.
We remember G-d, Who created us on the sixth day, setting us apart and, in so doing, sanctified the human being. By leaving us the task of self-completion and equipping us with intellect, the capacity for speech and spirituality, we come eventually to know before Whom we stand.
Had G-d completed us, even with respect to "brit milah" (covenant of circumcision}, we would have been left with no obligations to this world of which we are but its short term visitors and caretakers.
Very possibly, we might all have become couch hugging potato chip munching vacuum cleaners, a tragic waste of human potential, totally bereft of initiative, direction or goals.
I noticed that Rabbi Twerski did not use a lot of "religious speak" last night. We all need a good old-fashioned "talkin to" every now and then. There is a jargon within the orthodox community that often sounds (to this writer) stale, mechanical and trivial. A masterful reader of audiences, Rabbi Twerski, I think, made a deliberate choice to shoot straight fom the hip.
I don't know about you, but I find it refreshing.
Citing the Jeffersonian "pursuit of happiness" enunciated in this country's Declaration of Independence, Rabbi Twerski poked just a little bit of fun at those who "pursue" happiness but never succeed in finding it.
It's like the story of the little boy, Rabbi Twerski began, who tearfully confesses to an inquiring policeman that he has apparently lost the money his mother gave him through a hole in his pants pocket. "Well, where did you lose it?" inquires Officer Friendly. "Over there," the boy points, indicating the other end of the park. "Then why are you looking over here?" "Because," says the boy, "the lighting is better over here."
We look for happiness in the wrong places or believe pleasure to be the vehicle to happiness. Unfortunately, many folks take a ride in this vehicle without the foggiest notion where they're heading. Rabbi Twerski is quick to point out-despite sadly mistaken popular notions-that pleasure and happiness are not synonymous. Moreover, it is precisely when they are conjoined that we see rising instances of addiction: gambling, alcoholism, sex, drugs, pornography, and this is the short list only.
So, what is the bottom line? "Contentment", a state of existential complacency, may be more appropriate for a cow grazing in the field but not for a human being made in the image of G-d.
The key, I believe, is in measuring one's steps. At first, they'll be small and shakey, but be reassured, as we say each and every morning, that the King of the universe guides the steps of man.
Shabbat Shalom,
Alan D. Busch
alandbusch@aol.com
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