Does Behavior Modification Actually Work With A Defiant Child?
Does Behavior Modification Actually Work With A Defiant Child
?If you have a defiant child, you may begin to wonder how on earth behavior modification could possibly work. Actually, this is just another way of saying how to use effective parenting skills so that you remain in control. It is also useful to teach your child a certain sense of responsibility and to be accountable for his actions.
A defiant child is going to put a strain on any family and will create problems with siblings. In addition, if there is no agreement about what constitutes defiant behavior and the consequences which are in place to deal with it, there is a danger of the situation getting out of control. This is where good cop and bad cop parenting tends to be disastrous. It can also put an unnecessary strain on the marriage.
One of the first things we learn from behavior modification is that all the family are signed up to the rules and there are no exceptions.
I know many families have dealt with defiant children by using psychostimulants which can calm behavior in a certain way. Some of these children may be suffering from ADHD and ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). There are certain advantages in using medication but they also come with a long list of side effects and certain health risks too.
The bottom line is that these medicines will never be able to lay the foundations of establishing a code of behavior or helping a defiant child to control his aggression, hostility and defiance in a self controlled way. I know of no pills that can teach a child how to behave.
Behavior modification will teach us step by step strategies for dealing with all the issues that come with a defiant child. We will learn how to deal with setting limits, dealing with homework issues, car driving, curfews and a host of other situations which require careful handling.
We will also learn how to be flexible while still sticking to the bottom line rules. We need to set limits and still be able to respond with warmth and affection. It is by balancing these two that we can be successful in dealing with a defiant child.
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