Confident Child Captures Heart Of Adults
How often do you meet a child that will actually look you in the eyes and have a
conversation with you? I 'm talking about a child age six and up. It 's not too often, but you know I actually had a fun conversation with a six year old today. From the first day I met him and his parents, he was like a breath of fresh air. He exudes confidence, excitement for life and seems to thoroughly enjoy people. The first time I met this young man he shook my hand while looking me in the eye, and actually listened to me as I spoke. I was so impressed I forgot his parents were standing next to me!It 's uncommon for children to feel this comfortable and confident with someone upon their first meeting. Hey, it 's hard for me to feel that comfortable and confident when I first meet another adult! I think I could learn a few lessons from this little guy. There is no doubt about it; there are huge payoffs for kids who know how to interact comfortably and confidently in social situations. Being self-confident enough to be at ease when talking with adults can open doors to education, sports, and social invitations that might not be available otherwise.
By the age of six most kids are old enough to make eye contact, smile and introduce themselves to an adult. Because adults are bigger and children see them as authority figures they are intimidated when first meeting adults. By teaching them and practicing with them in different situations, a child can overcome some of their fears when first meeting and adult. The first step is to have your child practice with you, and then with an adult friend, or a grandparent if they live close by. Remember it is up to us to teach our children how to handle themselves.
Eye contact for a shy child can be a very hard thing to overcome, but it is important to learn. If your child has a hard time making eye contact with an adult, let them know they can focus on the adult 's nose instead. Explain to them that the adult won 't be able to tell they aren 't quite looking in their eyes. Once you 've practiced eye contact, you may want to show your child what a handshake should feel like, and how to do it. Remember, no wet fish handshakes. What do I mean by that? Your hand should be firm, not limp like a wet fish. After you teach your child the handshake, have them combine it with the eye contact.
Now your child can successfully look an adult in the eye and shake hands if appropriate. Conversation is the next step. Again this can be a tough thing for a child to do, whether or not they are shy. However, the sooner you teach these few skills to your child, the sooner they will become more confident and comfortable around adults. What to say? It 's not like your child is going to be expected to sit down and have a full blown conversation with this adult. You just want them to feel comfortable enough to be able to answer questions an adult might ask. For example an adult might ask the usual question asked of a child. "Do you like school"? For a child this could be a standard yes or no question, and be out of there. For a self-confident child you would encourage them to answer in threes. For the school question instead of the yes or no answer, it would be, "Yes, I am in the second grade, and I like math."
By teaching them to use the word "because" they could extend the conversation just a bit more. It could go like "Yes, I am in the second grade and I like math, because I like playing with numbers". Also you can let your child know that it is okay for them to ask grown-ups questions. Such as turning that same question the adult asked into a question the child could ask. In this situation the child could ask the adult "Do you like math?" or "Did you like math when you were in school?" This child has actively engaged the adult in conversation, and has undoubtedly impressed this adult.
By teaching your child these simple steps of interacting with adults you are giving your child a great social skill that many kids and adults lack today. You are teaching your child to show an interest in someone other than themselves. You are teaching your child self-confidence, and respect for adults. This type of behavior will be rewarded in many ways by teachers, coaches, and adults that come into their lives. In addition, you child will see just how proud you are of them when interacting with adults, giving them more self-confidence.
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