Child Behavior - Tips For Parents
Over the last few years I've come across countless situations were parents feel
like they don't know how to deal with toddlers and preschoolers. Parents get stressed out because of the "bad behavior" and I've received plenty of emails from those who feel that they've failed at being a parent.If this describes you then I'd like to invite you to enter my world and learn more about how you can take advantage of language as a toolbox for change. Parenting toddlers and preschoolers can go back to being fun again. All you need is a willingness to learn, and an appreciation for new advice.
Can you think back to when your baby was a newborn? It was probably stressful sometimes. It was a gigantic change to your normal life, and you didn't instantly know what to do if your baby started to cry. But I'm sure you got past that by learning how to identify the usual suspects. Most often your baby was either tired, had a dirty diaper, was hungry, or too hot/cold. You never asked your child what the problem was - you simply figured it out on your own.
Later, when your baby was between 1 and 2 years old, your toddler learned to walk and even do some talking - even if they were just single words. Your toddler could point to things that he wanted. If you said "no", I'm betting your child totally freaked out, right?
I'm going to give you the single most important advice that I think all parents of toddlers need to understand. Ready? Accept that children in the age range of two to four have almost no reasoning skills. Logic is usually a bad way to approach a problem. That's it. Once you appreciate this, your ability to prevent tantrums will have suddenly skyrocketed.
One of my pet peeves is when people write advice about what not to do, but they don't give you any useful suggestions on how to replace the old habit. So let me expand upon this statement. Let's pretend that your toddler or preschooler is messing around in the kitchen and is dragging pots and pans out of the cabinet. You know that you'll have to clean this up. You want the behavior to stop. Be honest now. In this situation, would you normally just tell your child to "stop" and take them out of the kitchen? If you answered "yes", then you've tried to solve the problem by using logic, or by assuming your child will understand that this behavior is not allowed. Guess what? It almost always results in a tantrum.
So what do you do instead of using logic? Start managing your toddler's state of mind. Change the focus of his or her attention. Use distraction or confusion techniques to create an opportunity to shift your child to a new activity. There are plenty of ways to deal with toddlers that don't involve rational explanations or logic.
Let's go over a quick and easy example. Pretend your son is in the kitchen making a mess and a bunch of noise banging all the posts and pans. The first thing you need to do is called "entering their world". You do this by saying something they will agree with. "Wow, you sure are having fun with all of these pots". This establishes a positive frame. Next, you can amplify the positive feelings with something simple. Maybe you can tickle your toddler until he is laughing with you. Now, look for an opportunity to distract him. If there is an airplane flying overhead take him to the window to look at it and say "can you hear the noise from that plane?". Kids have short attention spans. Keep things positive, and use simple distractions to create change.
You'll start to notice that "bad behavior" and tantrums are often driven by negative emotional states. If you want the behavior to change then simply change the emotional state. You can use language as a power tool to steer your child's emotional states. Remember - children don't throw tantrums or misbehave when they are having a lot of fun laughing with you.
by: Chris Thompson Lose Fifteen Pounds In Five Weeks For Free Attractive Youth Bedroom Collections for your Teen Helping Children Cope With Pet Loss - 3 Tips To Help Infants And Children Up To Three Years Helping Your Child Cope With Pet Loss - 3 Tips To Help Children Ages 2-6 Teenage Acne Treatment - Teen Acne Causes And Information Raising Children..."the Path Of Least Resistance" How You Can Realistically Lose Fifteen Pounds Child Custody: Keeping The Peace For Your Child's Sake Watch Teenage Shows on DISH HD Channels To Spank A Child: Right Or Wrong? Sinus Infections In Young Children Help Children Improve Their Maths Skills Children's Watches - What To Buy?