Child Anger - Managing The Temper Of Young Children
When we hear the word child, anger is usually not the first thing that comes to mind
. Children, like all humans, have feelings. In fact, they have the same exact feelings adults have. The difference is that children have often not mastered the art of managing their feelings. Child anger can be a real problem for teachers and caregivers.It's difficult even for adults to handle the feeling of frustration in an appropriate manner. Anger is a secondary emotion, and it usually stems from some other feeling that is not the presenting feeling such as fear or hurt. In fact, all secondary negative emotions, including sad, jealous, and other feelings hold at their root fear or hurt.
In the midst of feeling these things though, children and adults don't generally delve further than the presenting feeling. There are several methods for helping children work through their anger and get to a place of calm, or at least find more positive expressions of their feelings if they are having regular angry outbursts.
If you are dealing with a child rage problem, you are likely frustrated and may have angry feelings about the situation yourself. It's important to stay as calm and neutral as you can when dealing with helping children manage their emotions.
First, talking about feelings helps make children more aware. By talking about anger and other emotions, you can help children start to comprehend why they are feeling what they are feeling and how to deal with it. You can ask them questions in a kind tone. Why are you feeling angry? What else are you feeling? What can you do about the way you are feeling? Do you have any other options? Anger is something you can make sense of if you ask the right questions.
Helping children start a conversation about their feelings will enable them to think more about their reactions in the future. The conversations we had as children are always a part of us. If you don't know how to talk about feelings, it might be good to read books with the child that talk about feelings and ask the child questions about the book. Do you ever feel like that? What makes you feel that way?
If a child has had severe trauma or loss, resentment is a natural reaction. Often professional counseling can help the child deal with the extreme emotions they feel as a result of such pain. Adults handling angry children can help if they know how. Discuss each child's personal needs with a professional to ensure the best results.
Finally, if you are helping a child learn to manage annoyance better, there must be some reasonable consequences when their actions are inappropriate. If the child is old enough, they can help to come up with appropriate consequences for any outbursts. They might lose privileges, or get extra chores, or write an account of their behavior. Whatever the consequences, you should end with a discussion of their feelings and behavior and what they did that was okay and what was not. Also, it's important for children to understand that anger is a normal feeling that everyone feels. They are not alone, and because it is scary for children to feel the overwhelming power of emotions, they need to know that everyone has feelings, it's what they do with them that matters.
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